- It was a death metal show that we only got because Eradication dropped out, so playing folk rock wouldn't go over well
- I have like 3 major assignments to finish and a festival to plan
- I've had to be up early every day this week and I have to work 4 shifts over the saturday and sunday so I'm way too tired and I'd like to have resting time for my 24 hours of work I have ahead of me this weekend
- I barely know the songs because nobody ever tells me about practices or if there is one they tell me like an hour before it starts
So now I don't have any fucking bands. I went down from 3 bands to 0.
None of you will understand why I'm so pissed off and upset by this. Maybe that band meant so much to me even though I didn't always like the music. And now because I didn't want to play a show for a variety of good reasons it's just like "Fuck You, even though you spent so much time and money into helping me with my music already. Even though you would always find a way to Toronto to jam and play shitty shows even if no other band members who had transportation and money felt like showing."
I've just been getting shit rained on me lately, I have so much work to do in school and my jobs, my parents are having a huge court battle of which no matter who wins I stand to personally lose my college money and will have to work 1000 times as hard to just go to school, which I'm having a hard enough time with scholastically and even more so socially. Then there's just the fact that I'm pissed off at myself over my weight and how every time I try to make plans with people in those rare occasions that I'm free everyone is like "No, I don't want to see you, you're clearly a douchebag". Now Jen comes back in my life and just to keep in to tradition totally stands me up and doesn't call, rather waits to tell me lover MSN like 24 hours after we were supposed to meet to be like "Yeah, I forgot to call you (even though she told me like an hour before we were supposed to meet that she'd be by soon), I'm a douchebag, sorry".
So what the fuck am I supposed to do? I can't control any of the shit that's pissing me off. It seems that every fucking thing that I used as a reason not to kill myself over the summer is fucking gone now.
I'm going to move to Philladelphia. Get a job at Metropolis for my internship. At this point I don't have much here to make me want to leave.
And to make things so much better, I have another dentist appointment tomorrow. Yeah, drills, needles and a full day of sitting in my room and waiting for nothing to happen. As per my normal friday routine of needles and fuck-all.