genericname

♥ x a million bagillion

such a horrible dream....

I was traveling with my cousin around here and there, there was this beautiful girl in some sort of... meeting place for the public? i guess they served food too i dunno, there was one long row of red leather seats an di was sittin on a part of it with my cous, then the girl sat next to me, she was silent but i looked at her, she was like "is something wrong?" and i said "no" but i said it really nervous and shaky. then she said "whats wrong?" and i said "nothing" in this totally nervous shaky near crying way. She became concerned, every now and then wed look back at each other, she would say somethin really nice, and it was going well until my nose started to bleed and i had to go fix it, when i came back she was talking to someone else.

alot of weird undescribable things happened... basically my whole family and relatives we were all in this gigantic house after that was basically my grandmas, but my mother kept following my trying to force something positive in my face, so i kept running up these stairs into different elaborate bedrooms in the house screaming at her to die and how much i hated her, how much i wanted her to stay the fuck away from me. Then my dad came in and was pumping out this gas stuff from a tank at me to punish me and i was trying to kill him, so he started putting it on my mom and i tried ot kill him while he was distracted.
They tried to cheer me up again by showing me a scene they made of me in the rain fighting some guy and winning, but i said "fuck you" to all of them and said "i am just going to lose in this movie, i always lose, i am a failure" and i walked off. everything turned into this gigantic sort of aquariam. it was all water in the middle but the left and right sides were more full of water and al these freaky lookin colored fish (i hate those fuckin fish like that) my mom was chasin me up and up these differnet levels of fish rooms like that and i kept trying to get away but secretly i wanted her to come up because i was scared of all these fish and got stuck in between the lil waterish walls that sepereated me from two really really freaky disgusting fish rooms.
then i dissapeared and i was awake during a japanese festival... everyone was dressed up like it was halloween but this was some celebratiojn they had jan 1st-11th... eveyone was dressed up in white paper sheet like costumes, with the paper lights, or in large pumpkin outfits.
There were many kids running up a steep hill in these costumes giggling. i became one of them in my pumpkin costuem running up with excitement. but i just realized i was now a child in japan running up with a new life as a kid all over again and everyone i knew was gone forever.
i started to burst into hard bitter tears as i smiled running up the hill that never ended. i cried so hard then i woke up.

All I want to do is touch your fluffy pur.

ahh, the insecure overcompensation of middle management. at least you get to laugh at what an ass he is. you comming down this week?

very well, sunni may remain undestroyed

good.

I love you and wish the best for you!!! I'm sure everything will work out, HANG ON your 20's won't last forever ( I hear the 30's are much better)

i hate being sick.
My cell phone died.
Ill call you when I can get to a phone.
♥

ps. I still like youuuuuuuuuu

it's tough, i know. when i moved out i didn't know how i was going to make it work, but i knew i had to get out of the house. i found the right place and somehow it's working. when the time is right you'll figure it out. granted i'm ignoring my college loans for the moment, but someday mabe i'll figure it out. you comming down tonight?

i hear your dilema.. im in the same shoes.. but i refuse to go to that extreme cuz im a slacker..

good seeing ya tonite.. better late than never... well, in some cases..

Yes. Go hang out again on Wednesday. ha.

♥ I miss your voice.

man, just gonna hug you more.

Next time Erik touches your thing. Smack his hand.

yeah, pretty much...I don't want to know what that erik touching your thing thing is...

hey, it was good that you actually came down...this has been a discussion piece for the last little while...

it was really good seein ya on wed dear!
next week? same time, same place?

If the talents you have are what make you happy.. then yes fucking do something with em. If they don't then find what does and do that. If its not a job that makes you happy, find a job that gives you the ability to do what makes you happy. Thats really all there is to it.

The problem for most of the people nowadays is that we were braught up on movies/television/video games/etc.. that tell us we can all be the 'hero'. Everyone wants to be in the spotlight and if they don't want to we give them medication. Everyones told they are special and then told to stand in line.

Im probally the crappiest cheer-er-upper ever but just try to surround yourself with people and things that make you happy is what it all boils down to.

Oh and ditch that McJob.

[Edited on Oct 02, 2004 8:16PM]

ok- so it looks like plans are rolling for wed at my place again. this time you should actually fucking make it. i don't want to hear the excuses. get your ass down here, drink some beers and meet some cool people. i have to agree with sei on the work thing. if it was fun they'd call it play. my job sucks most of the time, but i get to persue some intrests, so it's not that big a deal. would it be fun to have some job that i loved? mabe. it's funny how some times when you do what you thought you loved all the time- it gets to be work. (also he gets props for the douglas coupland referance) anyway- hope you can get out wed. night at some reasonable hour. it will be fun.

ah...good explanation.

sorry you didn't make it down- it was fun. you have to show up eventually, buddy. try as you may, you can't avoid us forever. we will find you.