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gemini216

Brobdingnag

Member Since 2004

Followers 11 Following 13

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Thursday May 06, 2004

May 5, 2004
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Here is a link to one of the websites that represents one of my current obsessions, the groupboard, which is a community whiteboard allowing multiple people to draw/chat/play games simultaneously. This particular one is inhabited by many wonderful artists (mostly heavily interested in anime)

Island Closest to Heaven

the past few days i have spent way too much of my time forcing a crappy mouse around this whiteboard in hopes that techniques will flourish from my scribbles. I did enjoy some of the play that has come out of the many hours i've spent drifting through the past evening* while also listening to several interesting debates between an atheist infidelguy and guests on his past shows.

---

a small being strolls into my consciousness [i think it is an emergent pseudo consiousness born out of sleep deprivation and the strange taste generated by drinking coffee mistakenly added to lipton instant iced tea mix]

"hello ian, you do realize that you've been looking at this webpage for awhile now.. and what is the meaning of the symbol you drew on your forehead?"

'sorry, i was stuck inside several thoughts .. one being an attempt to understand why i am so lazy .. and the other stream of conscious curiousity as to why my friend's 8 year old child is having a VERY difficult time with the idea of putting his clothess on -- why does he cry and yell so much ... he's going to make his younger brother late for school as well - i will, however, not include my writing on that subject for brevity

the symbol:

broken ankh - subjectively stating that my constitution is low

the ankh is my favorite symbol

7 - lucky number

adding the horizontal mark is my favorite numeral to write

cross of confusion - a "satanic" mark - supposedly originating from acient rome which questions the validity of christianity

i personalized this symbol with but remain with similar intent insofar that I question everything, particularly widespread belief systems that have done tremendous harm on our species. the original cross of confusion is drawn upsidedown

visual tool - something to break up the large white space in the image on top of adding the aforementioned symbolic structure


---

i still don't fully understand my obsession with bleeding eyes but it appears often in my artwork. Although i'm positive that having suffered severe trauma to my eyes on several occasions in my life adds strength to the subconscious desires to expression within my work, this particular theme(?) predates those experiences. Another idea that comes to mind is one primary reason for being a visual artist is the overwhelming amount of time and mental energy i place on "seeing" things in order to understand myself and this often overworks my eyes'

"atleast you realize you are typing this as a journal entry for people to read?"

'yes, next quesiton.'

"the tightness and congestion in your chest would likely dissipate if you quit smoking... but you know this."


AH! that was the point. me telling me not to smoke. ofcourse i agree with me but cigarettes have been the strongest sanity medication for me for years; the obvious physical addiction is far stronger than the neurochemistry that constructs my will power to quit (i invite debate on the nature of consciousness if anyone is willing); i'm trying to think of something else because i like semi-colons regardless if i am using them improperly.





*evening: really i meant the hours after my friends went to sleep and i was allowed physical space to be completely alone for 10 hours


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