fuck everything and almost everybody. i really need to find a better class of freind, or at least freinds who don't expect me to handle all the crises and skip all the fun. i'm tired of being the one everybody bitches at and the one who gets teh be the shoulder to cry on, but the minute things are fine, i become fifth wheel man (who only super power is getting shit on by those he considers freinds). 
for those of you puzzled by the above, here's the latest story in the on going drama that is geist getting serious pissed at his most of his only real freinds in texas (Taylor or Miranda or any of garage34 reading this, you guys are still cool). so last night was supposed to be the big going away barbeque for don and leigh ann, 'cause don got his discharge and they're heading back to michigan. party consists of me, taylor and miranda, micah and arin, don and leigh ann, and zach and leah (don's brother and his fiance) and paul and amy (who are also still cool). party's going well, usual monkeyshines and all, when all of a sudden, as per the standard, drunken conversation turn to people getting naked. ok, fine, no problems. by this point both taylor/miranda and paul/amy have left, as both have kids and it is rather late. zach/leah have gone inside as neither has a desire to see this conversation become reality. everything thing is still cool. {{a quick bit of back story, due to drunkeness and an arguement between arin/micah earlier, i was supposed to be giving micah a ride home, which i said i would which is why i'm even still here, hanging around drunken long term couples is not my idea of an excellent evening, except in very rare circumstances, which we will see the reasons for shortly}}.
it is at this point, that i am literally pushed inside by don, and told to stay in the house. what i am, his fucking child or his dog or something? fuck that. you don't want me around for something, don't invite me to the show. i realize that don was worried about me seeing leigh ann's tits, which is perfectly acceptable, cause while i like leigh ann and do think she's attractive, i am not attracted to her, nor would i like to see her naked. same for arin. believe me, i understand don's actions, but still, asking me to go inside would not have insulted me. treating me like a child or a dog does. a simple request to go hang out inside for a while would have gotten the job done.
so as i sit inside, reading my book, i begin to notice in the background noise, certain, shall we say, moans and groans of a...sexual nature. ok, still not upset about the behavior, only the way in which i've been shoved aside. i have even less of a desire to engage in any sort of sexual behavior with arin and leigh ann, as our tastes run to different things. so after about half an hour of this, i check to see if i'm still driving micah home. to which i am greeted with sighs and short words and general coldness. hey guys, not my fault you decided to engage in public group sex on the night i've been voluntold i'm the taxi for micah. after getting the answer from micah that now arin is taking him home, i tell them i need somebody to come lock the front door behind me, as it's only safe. again, cold words and a general disinterest, so i just lock the nob. not the best security, but better than none.
about halfway back to my place, i realize that my camera is still there, and being the ocd guy that i am about my camera's, i head back and call to try and get somebody to let me in. no luck, so i walk around to the back yard and let them know that i need my camera because i do. they say some one will come let me in. 15 minutes later after micah answers the door, i get some mumbled apology along the lines of "sorry man, sorry about this" and and handed my camera and the door is shut in my face and both deadbolts get locked.
it's not that i'm angry about not being included in the group sex, as the other participants aren't really what gets my motor racing. it's not even about micah needing a ride thing. it's about getting literally shoved aside whenever it's determined that the single guy needs to go. it's about the constant little insults and shit talking by a group that claims to be my freinds and want me around. so i left them a message in arin's voicemail telling them my feeling and what i though of their behavior in general and let them know that until they can learn what freindship is actually about, i'm vapor. and that while i've no regrets, i'm not going to tolerate it anymore. when they figure it out, they can call me or whatever, but until then i've no desire to play therapist and taxi to a group of people who can't figure out that if you can't be counted on, you won't be counted in.
fuck it, i think i'll just eat a bullet.
.......................................................................................
on a brighter note, i've got a box coming from edea and it is fucking sweet. thanks dove for signing it too.
born alone, live alone, die alone. my life is for myself and by myself.
-the geist
for those of you puzzled by the above, here's the latest story in the on going drama that is geist getting serious pissed at his most of his only real freinds in texas (Taylor or Miranda or any of garage34 reading this, you guys are still cool). so last night was supposed to be the big going away barbeque for don and leigh ann, 'cause don got his discharge and they're heading back to michigan. party consists of me, taylor and miranda, micah and arin, don and leigh ann, and zach and leah (don's brother and his fiance) and paul and amy (who are also still cool). party's going well, usual monkeyshines and all, when all of a sudden, as per the standard, drunken conversation turn to people getting naked. ok, fine, no problems. by this point both taylor/miranda and paul/amy have left, as both have kids and it is rather late. zach/leah have gone inside as neither has a desire to see this conversation become reality. everything thing is still cool. {{a quick bit of back story, due to drunkeness and an arguement between arin/micah earlier, i was supposed to be giving micah a ride home, which i said i would which is why i'm even still here, hanging around drunken long term couples is not my idea of an excellent evening, except in very rare circumstances, which we will see the reasons for shortly}}.
it is at this point, that i am literally pushed inside by don, and told to stay in the house. what i am, his fucking child or his dog or something? fuck that. you don't want me around for something, don't invite me to the show. i realize that don was worried about me seeing leigh ann's tits, which is perfectly acceptable, cause while i like leigh ann and do think she's attractive, i am not attracted to her, nor would i like to see her naked. same for arin. believe me, i understand don's actions, but still, asking me to go inside would not have insulted me. treating me like a child or a dog does. a simple request to go hang out inside for a while would have gotten the job done.
so as i sit inside, reading my book, i begin to notice in the background noise, certain, shall we say, moans and groans of a...sexual nature. ok, still not upset about the behavior, only the way in which i've been shoved aside. i have even less of a desire to engage in any sort of sexual behavior with arin and leigh ann, as our tastes run to different things. so after about half an hour of this, i check to see if i'm still driving micah home. to which i am greeted with sighs and short words and general coldness. hey guys, not my fault you decided to engage in public group sex on the night i've been voluntold i'm the taxi for micah. after getting the answer from micah that now arin is taking him home, i tell them i need somebody to come lock the front door behind me, as it's only safe. again, cold words and a general disinterest, so i just lock the nob. not the best security, but better than none.
about halfway back to my place, i realize that my camera is still there, and being the ocd guy that i am about my camera's, i head back and call to try and get somebody to let me in. no luck, so i walk around to the back yard and let them know that i need my camera because i do. they say some one will come let me in. 15 minutes later after micah answers the door, i get some mumbled apology along the lines of "sorry man, sorry about this" and and handed my camera and the door is shut in my face and both deadbolts get locked.
it's not that i'm angry about not being included in the group sex, as the other participants aren't really what gets my motor racing. it's not even about micah needing a ride thing. it's about getting literally shoved aside whenever it's determined that the single guy needs to go. it's about the constant little insults and shit talking by a group that claims to be my freinds and want me around. so i left them a message in arin's voicemail telling them my feeling and what i though of their behavior in general and let them know that until they can learn what freindship is actually about, i'm vapor. and that while i've no regrets, i'm not going to tolerate it anymore. when they figure it out, they can call me or whatever, but until then i've no desire to play therapist and taxi to a group of people who can't figure out that if you can't be counted on, you won't be counted in.
fuck it, i think i'll just eat a bullet.
.......................................................................................
on a brighter note, i've got a box coming from edea and it is fucking sweet. thanks dove for signing it too.
born alone, live alone, die alone. my life is for myself and by myself.
-the geist