Rubicon, by VNV Nation
Praying for myself.
These thoughts I try to hide.
I have faith in me and hope this will survive.
But it's tearing me apart.
I can't hear the words by which I guide.
So I must ask again who will carry me.
I will not deny that nothing can defend
from the helplesness that's cutting deep inside,
and I cannot prevent the thought that nothing's real.
Seems I've waited years for this day to end.
The strength I need to feel, the pride inside of me,
Are not there behind the face staring back at me.
The anger and the pain of knowing where I am.
I have come so far and I cannot return.
Nothing I can do that I have not done.
No words I can say. No truth left that I can see.
So must I let this end so everything falls apart.
Before I live the life as I have always done.
Tell me what to do so I do nothing wrong.
Something I can hope for. Something real that I can see.
So nothing falls apart. So that it does not end.
I cannot return. I can't start again.
--------------------------------------------
fucking sucks when you find that people you thought were your family now reply to your homecoming with apathy and uncaring words.
beginning to think maybe i ought to just head west rather than east once i'm out. or just go back to the streets.
i've always known i was for the gutter or the big house.
:::messages ends:::
Praying for myself.
These thoughts I try to hide.
I have faith in me and hope this will survive.
But it's tearing me apart.
I can't hear the words by which I guide.
So I must ask again who will carry me.
I will not deny that nothing can defend
from the helplesness that's cutting deep inside,
and I cannot prevent the thought that nothing's real.
Seems I've waited years for this day to end.
The strength I need to feel, the pride inside of me,
Are not there behind the face staring back at me.
The anger and the pain of knowing where I am.
I have come so far and I cannot return.
Nothing I can do that I have not done.
No words I can say. No truth left that I can see.
So must I let this end so everything falls apart.
Before I live the life as I have always done.
Tell me what to do so I do nothing wrong.
Something I can hope for. Something real that I can see.
So nothing falls apart. So that it does not end.
I cannot return. I can't start again.
--------------------------------------------
fucking sucks when you find that people you thought were your family now reply to your homecoming with apathy and uncaring words.
beginning to think maybe i ought to just head west rather than east once i'm out. or just go back to the streets.
i've always known i was for the gutter or the big house.
:::messages ends:::
Still nothin in the mail. What am I supposed to be looking for?
yeah, nothing at all that looks even remotely handwritten from you.