geeksusie

Hey everyone,
I hope everyone is great. Sorry for being out of touch the last couple of weeks, but we have made a couple of decisions here that will have a great impact on both of our lives. We, Kelli and I will be moving to Western Massachusetts! We have decided to buy a house there. We have just one more decision to make - which one to buy??? We love 2 houses, 1 in Great Barrington and another in Lenox. We should be deciding by next weekend and then put an offer in. There is no great rush to do so since the real estate market is doing pretty crumby lately. Either one will be awesome! And I think we are getting a great deal with either one. Plus both locations are commutable to Albany so we don't have to change jobs.
The biggest plus is that something very near and dear to our hearts happens to be legal there! That is still a while off, but it is definitely in our futures. So yes, we have been discussing the M word, and we both feel the same way. But, anyways, that is why I have been out of touch.
Well now that I have bored you all to tears maybe a break is in order.

Oh, another great reason to move to Massachusetts! No taxes on clothing!!! Yay! And gas is cheaper there!
Well I am gonna make this a short blog this week. We still have a lot of paperwork to go over, and make sure that our finances are in order. Thank God Kelli is an accountant!! I could never do this on my own!
Don't worry, I didn't forget. Here comes the second break. But please stick around for the poetry section.

Well, don't say I didn't warn you. Here they come! Yeppers! It's poetry time! I hope you like this weeks attempts.

Damaged Gum Tissue

I stare at the ceiling
comparing dots to splotches
counting the number of tiles that it takes to get to the doorway.
A sublime hopscotch
when I form a peace sign with my hand
pretending my index and middle fingers are legs
and I hop, skip, and jump my way to the door
like the peace sign is human,
like the upside is down.
I wait for you.
You come into the room quickly
and unkindly say hello,
you tell me to open wide
and then jab me in the gums
with a syringe that seems monstrous,
but its armed with such a tiny needle.
And apparently its filled with something thats supposed to make me numb
and it does, as far as my mouth is concerned,
but I can still feel you breathing all close to my ear,
muffled hums through your protective mask,
sounding like Darth Vader,
and I find myself hoping that you would never try out for American Idol.
Youre too old anyway.
But, back to your breathing,
honestly, I dont mind this,
the sound of another human,
breathing, humming, enjoying life
while my teeth are being scraped and jarred
and poked and prodded and abused
with metal tools that look deadly.
And earlier you were telling me that Im not nice to my teeth!?
I think about laughing and telling you admirably, Youre so fuckin morbid, man!
You continue scraping my molars,
and I tell myself that Im gonna write a poem about this
as I try to sink down comfortably
into the slippery leather chair.
Your humming starts again,
and I am feeling relaxed.
Fluorescent lamp of sunlight beating down on my forehead like a day at the beach.
I continue staring at the ceiling,
comparing dots to splotches
counting the number of tiles that it takes to get to the doorway.
A sublime hopscotch
that leads from my teeth
to your hand
to my wallet.

ORGASMOLOGY

I had a funny conversation
with my lady friend you know,
it was born from a message
with a subtle typo.

Of course it was my mistake
I meant to type 'fingers,'
somehow I muddled it up
and out popped the word 'dingers.'

Now 'how can this be funny?'
I hear you all say,
well, when mixed with 'dildos'
our convo ran astray!

'Let's patent a dildo dinger!'
I said to my lady Kell,
'we can go and patent it,
what the hell?'

'No way!' she said, vehemently,
'what is it anyway?'
'Its a rack for your dildos,
something to store them out the way.'

'Oh,' she said, laughing like crazy
'I've never heard of that.'
'No, you wouldn't have,
it's a quirk of typing in chat!'

And then she whispered seductively
a word especially for me,
'Philadelphia' in husky tones
why dont YOU say it and see.

It just rolls off the tongue
when spoken sexily
'Pennsylvania,' I replied
just as good, you'll agree.

Just the sound of the word,
in tempting undertones,
mentioned by my lady
is bound to make me moan.

Apparently it worked both ways.
'You make me feel sexified.'
'Wow, thats a new effect,' I said
'and I never really tried!'

'So, if I say another word,
for instance clitify,
does that have the same effect
and kind of satisfy?'

'Oh yes,' she said in laughter
at the absurd conversation,
'so what if I said to you
the word masturbation?'

And then that started the roll
of words like pussyfied,
and phrases equally good
such as 'i want to be fuckified!'

Tears streamed down my face,
in laughter and with glee,
my Lady Kell, for sure,
never fails to amaze me.

So next we pretended
I was at an interview,
with her as my employer
oh, now if you only knew...

I'll give you a little hint,
just one if that's okay,
anymore than that
and you'll be laughing everyday.

She said I was a temptress
designed to 'temptify,'
so now in my poetry
I'll attempt to edify.

She asked about qualifications,
'You mean like fuckology?
Yes I have many talents
including screwology!'

'I can talk many languages,
one being pussylingus
and then there's my favorite,
namely, cunnilingus.'

'Yes, but what of the others?'
'Which others,' I said.
'You know cuntification?'
Now I was blushing red,

'Yes, I'm sure I can do that,
there are no problems with me.
Oh, I forgot to mention,
I'm adept at orgasmology!'

'So you can really screwify?'
'Oh yes, I can and I will!'
is that an offer, I wondered
or is this just a cheap thrill?

'I tell you what,' I said
'I can do arsification too,
come bend over here,
I'll give you a quick run through.'

I looked at her a moment,
it was my lady's turn to blush.
At least I think that's what it was
or maybe it was a hot flush!'

I never mentioned titification
or anything else like that
I think she had had quite enough
so we ended our interview chat.