geekpat

This cold I've had for the last week sucks arse, but I think I'm finally getting over it. It wasn't particularly bad, just one of those ones that make me sooky and miserable. I had lots of vitamin c and echinacea, and maybe that helped.

Home by myself tonight with only my housemate's dog as company, and feeling kinda anxious and scared at being alone, and a bit queasy too. I don't know why with the queasy, but feeling sick always freaks me out, so I've had some xanax and I'm hoping I start to feel better soon. I'm even thinking of resorting to watching tv just to distract myself. Haven't had much to eat today (1 muffin and a peanut butter sandwich), so that probably isn't helping, but it's a bit of a catch-22, hard to eat when I'm feeing sick, even though eating might help me feel better.

I went to an SG hookup last night, but I was feeling so shy and awkward. Sometimes it happens. I'm glad I got out and it was nice to meet people, but yeh, sometimes I just don't know what to say etc and I get all silent and awkward. Oh well. I hope nobody thought I was rude.

Big yay to having a few days off work. Even though I'm at my new job, which is supposed to be better than my last job, it's been kinda getting me down. I really feel like I'm stuck in a career I don't want to be in. One day, somehow, I'll figure out what it is I actually want to do, but at the moment I have no idea. For now, work is just this place I go to where I'm not very happy, but at least they give me money for it.

Anxiety and depression are still bringing me down. Upped my dose of meds a couple of days ago (maybe that explains the anxiety and queasiness tonight as my body is getting used to it), but so far I'm not really feeling any improvements. I think I could do with feeling a bit better. Kinda hard to keep going on sometimes.

Ugh. Forget tv. I might go read.