geekpat

The wet sneeze.

There's this guy at work who sits behind me. He has hairy fingers, a
wonky eye (I'm allowed to say that, I have a wonky eye too - google
'duanes syndrome' if you're bored), I guess is an okay guy, but I still
find him generally unpleasant. He also makes the wettest sounding
sneezes I've ever heard. Kinda hard to describe, I've had to listen to
it enough times, but the best I can come up with is...

AAGOOOOOSHTHBBPT!!!

...trailing off with a kind of slurping noise, then quiet for a second
or so, then a big sniff to suck it all back up. And of course, there's
no hanky, tissue or hand covering the mouth, just lips flapping back and
forth, slick with saliva, eyes closed, head pushed back slightly with
the force of the expulsion. I get the same kinda queasy like I would
thinking about a bucket full of phlegm.