geber_teg

MORBID SURVEY

{1} Do you ever see garbage bags on the side of the highway and wonder if there are body parts inside?

Everytime.

{2} If you ever got the chance to practice cannibalism, would you?

Hell, yeah!

{3} If forced to overdose on a drug, which one would you choose?

Vitamin C.


{WOULD YOU RATHER BE...}

{4} Shot or stabbed?

Shot with a BB gun or stabbed with a toothpick, I don't care.

{5} Asphixiated or exsanguinated?

Exsanguinated.

{6} Drowned or buried alive?

Drowned.

{7} Killed by blunt-force trauma to the head or crushed to death?

Head trauma.

{8} Poisoned or overdosed?

Technically, they're the same thing.

{9} Killed by a flesh-melting virus or by rats or ants slowly pecking at you?

Fleash-eating virus sounds cool.

{10} Out of all the above choices, which one do you like best?

Cannibalism.

{11} Which is the worst way to die in your opinion?

Rosie O'Donnell.

{12} Killed (by a person) intentionally, or by accident?

Still dead, but I would haunt the person who killed me on purpose.

{13} Killed by a serial killer (for pleasure) or a hitman (for profit)?

Hitman, of course.

{14} Killed in a car crash or a plane crash?

Plane crash would be fun.

{15} Killed in your home or away from home?

Away from home, unless it's the hit man -- I'd have the drop on 'em here.

{16} Killed in your sleep or while watching TV?

In my sleep; TV is painful enough already.

{17} Killed by someone who knew you, a stalker, or a complete stranger?

Someone I knew.


{RANDOM...}

{18} What do you want done with your body when you die?

I want to be cremated, but I want my skull (and maybe also one femur and one humerus) to go to my daughter.

{19} You're forced to have your funeral at a place OTHER than a church - where would you choose?

I wouldn't be caught dead in a church! A scenic place in the woods sounds nice.

{20} What song/s would you want played at your funeral?

Drinking songs.

{21} What outfit would you like to be buried in?

See #18, but maybe some black velvet.

{22} Who do you want to give your eulogy?

George W.

{23} Any other specifics about your funeral you'd like to share?

Nothing comes to mind.

{24} Would you rather be forgotten about when you die, or remembered but hated?

Either way, I'll be back.

{25} Would you rather die alone, or die loved but leave a heartbroken mate behind?

We all die alone.