gdon

Do I just go in there right off the bat and lay it out?" Im looking for a new job." See how they take it and just go off their reaction? Ive never felt comfortable lying to anyone. Its not me. When I lie, it eats at me. Im not that person. Id rather be truthful and hated for it than lie just to be loved. I just say whats on my mind. Sometimes it comes off as cocky, sometimes everyone thinks Im an asshole. Sometimes the things I say arent forgotten nor forgiven and sometimes I end up losing because of it but, I didnt lie. To you or myself. So what do I do? I dont know what I want to say to them. Everything I have to say is just confrontational. I dont want it to be that way. I dont want a confrontation with anyone. I dont want to go in there with them thinking that were going to sit down and fix some problems together and work on things as a group when I know I have other intentions and I want out. Do I wait till the end of the conversation to spring it on them. "Its been six months of nothing but talk on your part. Ive lost faith in you. I dont trust you. Im looking for a new job." I know for a fact that Ive been lied to about many things. They think that I think Im the highest payed employee in the shop. Youd think I would be, being that Im the shop foreman, I run the office, to include teaching myself how to use quickbooks, I do payroll (if that even makes sense with them trying to sneak something pay related past me), Im always the first one there and the last to leave. I mean, one would think that you would pay that employee the most. Nah. We'll just tell him he gets payed the most. Im not crying over pennies, its the lie in itself that denotes disrespect. Why give of myself to be treated like that? The one employee that does get "my pay" is nothing but trouble. He wants to talk more than work and thinks he should get paid for his half hour lunch. Ive witnessed days that hes come in and hasnt picked up a tool until 9. Mind you, Im there at 6:30. Everyone else is there at 8. So for an hour he doesnt do anything. As the shop foreman, I SHOULD write him up. But I dont. Because I know that the owners dont have the spine to stand behind me. I dont think this. I know this. They WILL back down to him and I dont know why. The owners come and go as they please, rarely if ever letting me know where theyre going if theyve even let me know that theyre gone. Oh, and they usually straggle in between 9 and 11 some days. I have nothing good to say about this. But, only good can come from this. No matter what happens. Either I get one hell of a raise with benefits AND a vacation or I stop thinking about getting another job and actually go fucking do it. I think they know though. Or they just feel it. Since last Wednesday when they said something to me, theyve all been on time, theyve called to let me know where they were, theve posted a schedule for them so I know ahead of time whats going on and as far as the shop goes, theyve pretty much catered to me. Too little too late I think though. Why try to save me now? You push me this far to try to pull me back. Hell maybe they wanted me gone and were just looking for my breaking point. I dont know anymore. I didnt sleep 2 hours last night. This will be a big change for me. Ive gone through a lot of changes with this job and Ive gone through a whole lot of life since Ive been here. Maybe it will be good to put it behind me and move on. Gah. I just want to die right now.