gclipse96

I'm fucking bored.
it's only 930Am
dishes are done, laundry's picked up, and I'm about to go online, and pay my bills.

I've been so miserable lately. I fucking hate it.

How does a person that tells you they love you more than anything else just give up, and walk away?!
15-months of love, and passion. given-up on because 3 months were "unhappy".
it's been 6 weeks, and I feel the same exact way I did the night she left.
I feel like any desires I had...are gone. waking up, eating. socializing. ANYTHING.
I just want to sit here, and rot away. it's not like me. I hate not smiling.
what's worse, is I hate smiling, and having a good time, and then knowing that it's another moment not shared with her. God. Fucking. DAMN IT!!!
she's upset with ME.. because I'm upset with her. This is not going to end well.
I'm going to lose a person I loved dearly...and she's fine with it.
she says she's sorry. says she never expected it to hurt so much to split.
She's not made a single attempt to try and repair us.
she expects us to stay friends. she expects me to want to hang out, and watch her do things I hoped we would do. she expects me to be "buds" and watch her date, and eventually marry.
I cant WAIT for that.... the conversation where her (yet to be found)fiancee asks "how do you two know each other?"
and I say. " we dated for a year. We were so in love. We still love each other. Apparently, she just didn't love me "enough".

I get sick, just thinking about it. it's fucking terrible.

Sorry...

I think the original Idea of this post was to see what was going on today....
see if anyone had plans I could crash...
fat chance of that happening, now.