Do some people even think before they speak? I had a woman tell me "You have the potential to really be someone great that I could see myself with in the future", to which I replied "Thank you, I agree. You are also currently quite terrible, but don't worry, if you change exactly as I want you to, then we may end up getting married! I hear wedding bells! Or are those the chains of expectation?" What was the point of saying that in that way to me? I know what she was thinking, so I responded the way I did. I like to say or do things like that to hopefully get through to people that they are not some great person I need to change for. Don't get into a relationship expecting someone to change or expecting them to stay the same. Get in a relationship because currently you like them without need for immediate change. See if they grow with you and if not, find someone new. Why is this so difficult for people? Having expectations of someone that you do not let them know about (or maybe you do) is wrong. Trying to trick someone into change is wrong. What, are you the most perfect person and they must change in order to be with you? Pick someone worthy of you as is. Don't think "Oh, they would be perfect if... AND I am going to make them that way whether they like it or not!" If you cannot land someone worthy of you, then maybe you are the one who is not worthy. I do get that it can be difficult to find that right person who will mesh with you, but do not go and set up shop with someone you fully intend to force to change against their will. Work on compromises, not the forceful overtaking of someone's lifestyle to suit your needs. It seems we are a lazy group of people anymore who aren't willing to put in the work to find someone right, or we are too afraid of being alone in the meanwhile. Why not stay single if you cannot find what you are looking for?
Backhanded compliments are such a dirty way to say "I'm better than you", well if you were, you wouldn't have to settle for a compliment like that. Why not keep your mouth shut? Did your mom ever tell you "If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say anything at all"? Don't assume you are cleverer than someone else, or you get told exactly what you were insinuating in the first place in a way that makes your friends laugh at you. I found out later that the woman who had said that to me thinks like this "I am great and people should change to accommodate me". She likes to get men to change for her or to be with her and then she changes her mind. I caught on early to her and so I said something hilarious and she got laughed at by her friends. Hopefully that was lesson learned for her.