gasolineperfect

i'd forgotton just how amazing AFI truly were, twin wrote their lyrics in my card, which not only touched me, it also jogged my memory on this wonderful band, who once upon a time when i was young i would listen to religiously.

apart from placebo, AFI were the first band that i ever felt a connection with, that ever felt... i dont know.. real to me. like when i heard davey singing, i knew what he meant, i knew how he felt.. and i felt like that. about all manner of things.

i remember just being astounded by how poetic they are, and wondering how deep and wonderful he really must be. when twin and i went to see them, that was amazing, i remember actually being completely amazed.. it made everything feel like a dream. this beautiful tortured soul that always seemed so intangiable, was in actual fact, right there infront of me AND i touched his foot (i almost wet myself, even thinking about it today gets me all excited.)

Light, like the flutter of wings,
feel your hollow voice rushing
into me as you're longing to sing.
So I,I will paint you in silver.
I will wrap you in cold.
I will lift up your voice as I sink.


there's very few bands that since, have had such an effect on me. perhaps brand new, although i think thats purely related to the people and the point in my life i was at.

AFI are, one of those bands, that when an album comes out, its just automatic to buy it, whether or not i have heard it. its a natural assumption that i will like it.

even now, when the lyrics dont mean quite so much, i can still relate. they make me remember times i thought i would die because i was so low, and also times when i was so happy i thought i would burst (like kissing my first love to the whole of sing the sorrow, only its far too short for a good session, so we kept taking it in turns to get up and play it again. we were so goth [and obv hadn't heard of repeat all. ahh so young])

i'm not entirely sure whats driven me to share this with anyone who happens to read my blog (luckily enough, i don't think any of you do)

I cannot leave here, I cannot stay,
Forever haunted, more than afraid,
Asphyxiate on words I would say,
I'm drawn to a blackened sky as I turn blue,

There are no flowers, no not this time,
There'll be no angels gracing the lines,
Just these stark words, I find,
I'd show a smile, but I'm too weak,
I'd share with you could I only speak,
Just how much this, hurts me,


I cannot stay here, I cannot leave,
Just like all I loved, I'm make-believe,
Imagined heart, I disappear,
Seems...no one will appear here and make me real,

so, i will leave you with the above, This Time Imperfect. its one of my all time favourite AFI songs, and for a long while was spot on in how felt about wanting to leave.. i remember wanting to leave for the last three years. convinced that the quality of life, along with the quality of people would be better, and that i would all of a sudden find what it is i have been looking for since i .. well, was aware i could begin to look.

i don't think i'll ever find it anywhere apart from in my head.