what is the deal with shops in ipswich. seriously, i went into and there is literally nothing anywhere. is the credit crunch really hitting that hard? i know its after christmas and january sales and all, but memories previous always insist there was something to buy. the shelves of everywhere are literally bare, and its just bits and bobs.
i did however, buy a skirt, cardigan and a pare of teal high heeled shoes with a bow on them.
new years eve tomorrow.
that means its one whole year since last new years eve (funny that)
i can remember it like it was yesterday, if i shut my eyes i can see, hear, feel and smell it all. there's the tiniest part inside me, that wants to go back there, then, to who i was. even though that part is small and its dying each day at a time, i don't want it to die. i want it to live, on forever inside. so that i can always feel and always remember and know it was real, and that i didn't make it up. that i didn't dream him, or me, or us. that i didn't dream that amazing feeling i felt of living in my own house, with my very best friend. with my family, and team lovely around me.
in three weeks time, my life in felixstowe will be no more. i will be in the city, on my own. i won't have my oldest friend to pop round and see, i won't have my boss phoning me for a crisis. i'm going to be an independant adult. and this scares the shit out of me.
this year has been one of the best, and one of the worst years of my life. its been one hell of a year, all the nastiness with vermin boy, heartbreak, problems with eating, problems with health, finally realising i miss my hair.
hair. in three months its been two years.
i am lonely. i wish eternal sunshine of the spotless mind was real. i would erase it all.
just some song which remind me of this year... of you, of him, of us, of them, of who we were.
Was losing all my friends.
Was losing them to drinking and to driving.
Was losing all my friends, but I got them back.
I am on the mend.
At least now I can say that I am trying.
And I hope you will forget things I still lack.
Yeah. Yeah.
Is it in you now,
To barely hear the truth that you have spoken?
Twisted up by knaves,
To make a trap for fools.
Is it in you now,
To watch the things you gave your life to broken?
And stoop and build them up with warn out tools.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. (Oh.)
Yeah.
Nothing gets so bad,
A whisper from your father couldn't fix it.
Your whisper's like a bridge, he's a river span.
Take all that you have,
And turn it into something you were missing.
Somebody threw that brick, shattered all your plans.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. (Oh.)
Yeah.
Time to get the seeds into the cold ground.
It takes a while to grow anything,
Before it's coming to the end, yeah.
Before you put my body in the cold ground,
Take some time to warm it with your hand,
Before it's coming to an end, yeah.
It's coming to an end, yeah.
It's coming to an end, yeah.
Do you miss the blend,
Colors she left in your black and white field?
Do you feel condemned just being there?
I am not your friend.
I am just a man who knows how to feel.
I am not your friend.
I'm not your lover.
I'm not your family.
i did however, buy a skirt, cardigan and a pare of teal high heeled shoes with a bow on them.
new years eve tomorrow.
that means its one whole year since last new years eve (funny that)
i can remember it like it was yesterday, if i shut my eyes i can see, hear, feel and smell it all. there's the tiniest part inside me, that wants to go back there, then, to who i was. even though that part is small and its dying each day at a time, i don't want it to die. i want it to live, on forever inside. so that i can always feel and always remember and know it was real, and that i didn't make it up. that i didn't dream him, or me, or us. that i didn't dream that amazing feeling i felt of living in my own house, with my very best friend. with my family, and team lovely around me.
in three weeks time, my life in felixstowe will be no more. i will be in the city, on my own. i won't have my oldest friend to pop round and see, i won't have my boss phoning me for a crisis. i'm going to be an independant adult. and this scares the shit out of me.
this year has been one of the best, and one of the worst years of my life. its been one hell of a year, all the nastiness with vermin boy, heartbreak, problems with eating, problems with health, finally realising i miss my hair.
hair. in three months its been two years.
i am lonely. i wish eternal sunshine of the spotless mind was real. i would erase it all.
just some song which remind me of this year... of you, of him, of us, of them, of who we were.
Was losing all my friends.
Was losing them to drinking and to driving.
Was losing all my friends, but I got them back.
I am on the mend.
At least now I can say that I am trying.
And I hope you will forget things I still lack.
Yeah. Yeah.
Is it in you now,
To barely hear the truth that you have spoken?
Twisted up by knaves,
To make a trap for fools.
Is it in you now,
To watch the things you gave your life to broken?
And stoop and build them up with warn out tools.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. (Oh.)
Yeah.
Nothing gets so bad,
A whisper from your father couldn't fix it.
Your whisper's like a bridge, he's a river span.
Take all that you have,
And turn it into something you were missing.
Somebody threw that brick, shattered all your plans.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. (Oh.)
Yeah.
Time to get the seeds into the cold ground.
It takes a while to grow anything,
Before it's coming to the end, yeah.
Before you put my body in the cold ground,
Take some time to warm it with your hand,
Before it's coming to an end, yeah.
It's coming to an end, yeah.
It's coming to an end, yeah.
Do you miss the blend,
Colors she left in your black and white field?
Do you feel condemned just being there?
I am not your friend.
I am just a man who knows how to feel.
I am not your friend.
I'm not your lover.
I'm not your family.
Ah well lets just pretend i said something profound that made everything great shall we?
how are you today