Being 21 is by far the best age i've been, although in my head, i am and always will be 18 forever. i can't wait for the future, the person i am, developing into the person i have always wanted to be, with everything i want and everything i have worked for.
i am mourning for who i was, all the things i had. all the emotions and feelings of youth that will never come to me again, they've become a distant memory, and that, of course, will only become more and more distant. i will be disjointed from the person i was, a shadow of my former self. not that any of this is a bad thing, i just dont think i'd prepared myself for feeling like that.
six weeks of life left in felixstowe, six weeks to tie up any lose ends. the only one i really have i guess is with vermin boy. but thats not going to happen. and thats my own fault. i wish i knew back then what i know now. and how sorry i am.
i want to write forever, but i really must stop. i feel a bit sad.
i am mourning for who i was, all the things i had. all the emotions and feelings of youth that will never come to me again, they've become a distant memory, and that, of course, will only become more and more distant. i will be disjointed from the person i was, a shadow of my former self. not that any of this is a bad thing, i just dont think i'd prepared myself for feeling like that.
six weeks of life left in felixstowe, six weeks to tie up any lose ends. the only one i really have i guess is with vermin boy. but thats not going to happen. and thats my own fault. i wish i knew back then what i know now. and how sorry i am.
i want to write forever, but i really must stop. i feel a bit sad.
21 is a good age but there are better ones to come trust me.