It took my picking a fight over text messages to get him to finally tell me the god damn truth -- he has a new gf. I'm not surprised. I knew this is how it would be but it still hurts.
Here's the man I thought I'd marry some day. I bared my heart and soul to him. I was honest about everything and in the end it did me no good. Looking back I realize he never did tell me what was going on in his mind. And this time when I finally pushed him to tell me what's going on, he makes it seem like I'm the one being weird.
Jesus, I'm sorry I still love you. I'm sorry you gave up on a woman you looooooved so much so quickly. Hell, I may be sleeping with someone else but at least that someone else knows my heart belongs elsewhere. I should say belonged. He no longer has any influence on me. I hate him. I hope she breaks his heart and he realizes it's his fault for not being able to full communicate.
I hope the cat hates her and pees on her stuff, really.
Why did my honesty prevent this? Are the cosmos really out to get me? Is this how it will always be? Fuck. I just don't want to do it any more. All day at work I just hoped a thyroid storm would take me over and I'd just pass out and sleep. I can't do this any more. I can't put myself out there. I give up. YOU HEAR ME WORLD! I'M THROUGH!
Here's the man I thought I'd marry some day. I bared my heart and soul to him. I was honest about everything and in the end it did me no good. Looking back I realize he never did tell me what was going on in his mind. And this time when I finally pushed him to tell me what's going on, he makes it seem like I'm the one being weird.
Jesus, I'm sorry I still love you. I'm sorry you gave up on a woman you looooooved so much so quickly. Hell, I may be sleeping with someone else but at least that someone else knows my heart belongs elsewhere. I should say belonged. He no longer has any influence on me. I hate him. I hope she breaks his heart and he realizes it's his fault for not being able to full communicate.
I hope the cat hates her and pees on her stuff, really.
Why did my honesty prevent this? Are the cosmos really out to get me? Is this how it will always be? Fuck. I just don't want to do it any more. All day at work I just hoped a thyroid storm would take me over and I'd just pass out and sleep. I can't do this any more. I can't put myself out there. I give up. YOU HEAR ME WORLD! I'M THROUGH!
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
obd:
I know the feeling well, but you're far too young (and frankly, pretty) for that thought. Walk away from this one. Don't try to find some one new just yet. Look again when you're ready.
joscelyne:
I'm sorry it hurts so much. But ^ they're right, it'll make you stronger. You're probably going to be tired of everyone telling you things you already know and/or don't wanna hear (if you aren't tired already), but we're here for you.