Software developers are fuckheads. Okay, not all software developers are fuckheads. It just feels that way sometimes.
Seriously, would it kill you to learn a little bit of math? Maybe just a little about Binomial Coefficients or maybe even just how to count permutations so I don't have to go all the way back to grade school multiplication and division to explain the Poisson distribution to you.
Pretty please.
While we're on the subject of math, the real numbers are infinite. In fact, they are a special kind of infinite called uncountable - but don't you worry your pretty head about that. The important point is that there are only a finite number of values that a finite number of bits can represent. Therefore, floating point numbers are, by necessity, an approximation of real numbers. So, stop treating floating point numbers as exact.
Oh, and the next person who comes to me with an algorithm question that is covered in Knuth is going to leave my office with an imprint of volume 2 on their forehead. Don't be such a bunch of lazy fucks.
And maybe, just maybe, you should learn a language besides C, C++, Java, C# or some derivative thereof. You see, coming into my office and asking me what this lambda thing is something that is socially unacceptable. It would be like me coming into your office and taking a giant crap on your keyboard. Yes, it's that unacceptable.
I use Emacs occasionally. It can do things that would take you all day in your editor. My editor has Lisp. Your editor has push-buttons. Don't get me wrong, push-buttons are okay. I use them too. But if that's all you know how to do, I have a special name for you: "button-pushing pinhead". And, no, I don't give a fuck if that label offends you. If you call me "old-school" one more time, I'll break out vi and still code circles around your lily-white ass. I've done it before and I'll do it again.
Yes, I know you hate wearing the "build-breakers hat of shame" when you break the build. Get over it. You only have to wear it while the build is broken. As soon as you check in your fix and we get a good build you can take it off. I wear it when I break the build. I'm not singling you or for ridicule even though you wear it weekly and I wear it twice a year. If you complain again, I'm going to replace the Shriner's hat with a full-on Spartan warrior's helmet with a gigantic plume. I just got back from Greece. I know where to get one. Don't push me on this.
When I tell you that John Backus died, or Jim Gray missing, I expect a reaction other than "Uhh.. Who's that?" Have a little pride in your craft and its history.
Finally, I'll let you in on a little secret. It's okay to have standards. It's okay to expect good code from your coworkers. It is okay to expect more than a stunned "Huh?" in response to the sentence, "Double dispatch is really the heart of the visitor pattern." Likewise, it's okay to heap ridicule on those who don't care, who only want the paycheck, who think, "Maybe I should have been a dentist." It's time the herd was thinned a little. Don't ridicule the weak. Help them. It's the uncaring that deserve nothing less than withering scorn.
If you agreed with some of what I said above, hose yourself off and encourage the people you work with to do the some. If they don't want to join you, if they don't care, fuck 'em. Fuck 'em right in the ear. You don't have to live like that.
------
Next time I'll put up some pretty pictures from Greece to make up for the ranting.
Seriously, would it kill you to learn a little bit of math? Maybe just a little about Binomial Coefficients or maybe even just how to count permutations so I don't have to go all the way back to grade school multiplication and division to explain the Poisson distribution to you.
Pretty please.
While we're on the subject of math, the real numbers are infinite. In fact, they are a special kind of infinite called uncountable - but don't you worry your pretty head about that. The important point is that there are only a finite number of values that a finite number of bits can represent. Therefore, floating point numbers are, by necessity, an approximation of real numbers. So, stop treating floating point numbers as exact.
Oh, and the next person who comes to me with an algorithm question that is covered in Knuth is going to leave my office with an imprint of volume 2 on their forehead. Don't be such a bunch of lazy fucks.
And maybe, just maybe, you should learn a language besides C, C++, Java, C# or some derivative thereof. You see, coming into my office and asking me what this lambda thing is something that is socially unacceptable. It would be like me coming into your office and taking a giant crap on your keyboard. Yes, it's that unacceptable.
I use Emacs occasionally. It can do things that would take you all day in your editor. My editor has Lisp. Your editor has push-buttons. Don't get me wrong, push-buttons are okay. I use them too. But if that's all you know how to do, I have a special name for you: "button-pushing pinhead". And, no, I don't give a fuck if that label offends you. If you call me "old-school" one more time, I'll break out vi and still code circles around your lily-white ass. I've done it before and I'll do it again.
Yes, I know you hate wearing the "build-breakers hat of shame" when you break the build. Get over it. You only have to wear it while the build is broken. As soon as you check in your fix and we get a good build you can take it off. I wear it when I break the build. I'm not singling you or for ridicule even though you wear it weekly and I wear it twice a year. If you complain again, I'm going to replace the Shriner's hat with a full-on Spartan warrior's helmet with a gigantic plume. I just got back from Greece. I know where to get one. Don't push me on this.
When I tell you that John Backus died, or Jim Gray missing, I expect a reaction other than "Uhh.. Who's that?" Have a little pride in your craft and its history.
Finally, I'll let you in on a little secret. It's okay to have standards. It's okay to expect good code from your coworkers. It is okay to expect more than a stunned "Huh?" in response to the sentence, "Double dispatch is really the heart of the visitor pattern." Likewise, it's okay to heap ridicule on those who don't care, who only want the paycheck, who think, "Maybe I should have been a dentist." It's time the herd was thinned a little. Don't ridicule the weak. Help them. It's the uncaring that deserve nothing less than withering scorn.
If you agreed with some of what I said above, hose yourself off and encourage the people you work with to do the some. If they don't want to join you, if they don't care, fuck 'em. Fuck 'em right in the ear. You don't have to live like that.
------
Next time I'll put up some pretty pictures from Greece to make up for the ranting.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
I don't know what your excuse is.
I dunno that I would have been quite that incensed overall ... but I feel your pain.