Time to Reflect
I've been feeling very bla lately...actually it's been more like depressed. I feel like my world is closing in on me and I'm losing the freedom I once had. I'm not sure when I changed from being the carefree hippie chick to the uber-serious woman, but I'm not liking it. I need to go back to a simpler time. I've abandoned my photography (which was my passion in life) for 24-hour seriousness and early bedtimes. I've abandoned my art (which was also my passion in life) for aches and pains and no ambition. How can I get this back? I remember when I used to be super happy walking through nature, photographing its sights and sounds. When picking sunflowers made me joyful beyond belief. Now I face everyday thinking less of myself, feeling stupid when I have so many intelligent people around me. I feel like I know nothing, like I should wipe my ass with my college degree because it means nothing. My fiancee doesn't even know the real me because I've been living in this bubble which has sucked the life out of me for the past 9 years. Now some people may say it's because I'm getting older, but I refuse to accept that. I still desire to do the things I did as a younger person. I haven't given up on seeing the beauty of life, I'm just not sure how to go about refocusing my eyes
P.S. I refuse to give up on myself...I am starting over and that's that!
I've been feeling very bla lately...actually it's been more like depressed. I feel like my world is closing in on me and I'm losing the freedom I once had. I'm not sure when I changed from being the carefree hippie chick to the uber-serious woman, but I'm not liking it. I need to go back to a simpler time. I've abandoned my photography (which was my passion in life) for 24-hour seriousness and early bedtimes. I've abandoned my art (which was also my passion in life) for aches and pains and no ambition. How can I get this back? I remember when I used to be super happy walking through nature, photographing its sights and sounds. When picking sunflowers made me joyful beyond belief. Now I face everyday thinking less of myself, feeling stupid when I have so many intelligent people around me. I feel like I know nothing, like I should wipe my ass with my college degree because it means nothing. My fiancee doesn't even know the real me because I've been living in this bubble which has sucked the life out of me for the past 9 years. Now some people may say it's because I'm getting older, but I refuse to accept that. I still desire to do the things I did as a younger person. I haven't given up on seeing the beauty of life, I'm just not sure how to go about refocusing my eyes
P.S. I refuse to give up on myself...I am starting over and that's that!
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
and I handed out the candy so I didn't get a choice on where to go
so how are you? We are so overdue to hang out ... we must remedy that
In my opinion, age is not related with anything but with the knowledge and experience that you had gained.
Hang in there, I can't promise you that your previous life will return, but your current one may start making sense soon.
When you study, you get smarter and by consequence you change, express deeper thoughts, complex feelings and a different appreciation of life and yourself comes along. I wish you could figure it out soon.