gambitgirlie

There is a bowling ball following me. And I am fucking serious. As everyone who pays attention to me knows, (and believe me, this means...well...nobody) I recently moved. I am also a retard for bowling. Now, this does not mean I am good at it. I just love it. My brother and I were in a league, and our badass mofo team is called The Serial Bowlers. We bowled against everyone, and beat almost no one. I am actually wearing my embroidered team shirt right now. That is what makes the following story so scary. My Da and Mum drove some crap over to my new apt. because I could not fit thejunk in my car. A bright purple vintage bowling ball in a bright purple vintage bag smuggled its' way in too. Neat as all getout, but too heavy for me after the spinal surgery. (It weighs like 650 pounds. Ok, not 650. 270 pounds. No, I think it's 5%.(see previous journals for help with this extremely vague reference) Back on topic, the ball was supposed to be donated to Goodwill but was brought over with the other crap. I asked Mum n' Da to drop it off at Goodwill since they were headed there anyway. "Cool!" says my loverly and interesting parents. I thought the ball left in their car...but it was there after I crawled home two mornings later. I left it out by the curb for some punk rawk shitkickin' kids to throw thru a window or roll down the street late at night. Left for work, crawled home again and the ball was in front of my door. Tripped over the damn thing at 4 am (slightly tipsy and tired) and screamed like the screamy-type girl I am. Put in in the alley this time. At 4 am. At 7:45 it was back!!! Came home at 6pm. GODDAMNED DEVIL BOWLING BALL WAS BACK!!!!! I have just set it next to my TV now. I know I can't let him go now. He says he needs me and that he won't leave because he loves me. We're heading down to the lanes right now.........

What makes this really super scary is that my new neighbor whose door is about 7 1/2 inches from mine had the police called on him for threatening another neighbor with a hatchet. Always nice when you're watching Monster House and 4 police-persons tromp up to your door and the fucking militia knocks at your door. They just talked to him and left. I thought the killer bowling ball was my killer neighbor. When I tripped over the damn thing and screamed, he came to the door with the hatchet to see what was going on. Jesus Christ.