galen

So i'm at the bar, and something's missing. My bartender buddy is there, serving me premium raspberry stoli and crans for a speed rack price, so that's not it. I look up to watch the last inning of another Twins victory. It's Detroit's turn to take their lumps. I smirk in the half light of the dark bar. The dark bar that's filled with just the right amount of white noise that brings me back at least once a week. A rather large man to my right gets his foot long tab and everyone laughs as he asks, "how long was i here?" My bartender buddy exclaims, "well, you were here when i came in around 2 this afternoon". He chuckles, pays, and stumbles out. Some keep laughing, some just shake their head. He's there every day, straight from work. Anything to stay away from the wife and kids until he's drunk enough to deal with them. Just then I hear my name and look up. It's a guy i recognize from a few weeks back. I drank with him and his girlfriend at my bartender buddy's place. I nod and smile from across the brass and dark wood as his girlfriend (one of the servers) strolls up to him and slips her arm around his shoulders. They kiss, and i watch without blinking, without looking away, i watch. He points me out and she smiles excitedly and runs over. Still coming down from watching the kiss they shared, i react with a deep breath at her touch. I can't help it, i'm human. Or am I?

The fact that she's built like a football player doesn't matter. She's the opposite gender, and that's all it takes.

"It's great to see you..How are you?"
"Fine and you?" I say with a recovering smile.
"I'm good, i'm almost off, you should come drink with us"
"I'm pretty tired actually, long day, but thanks" I say.
"Well, if ya change yer mind, come on over later and join us"
"Thanks" i say, as she walks away.

By my second drink, 2 cigarettes and about 20 minutes later, i notice some of the other waitresses smiling a half smile my way as if to say, "she's not working tonight". She's not working tonight.

The one who walks up behind me, rubs my shoulders, whispers in my ear, talks to me, smiles every time she sees me, invites me out after work and sneaks me free food. She isn't there. The one who knows what it's like to feel like a tortured Vampire in a world where blood = intimacy and it's all around you, all day, all night, but you can't have any. The one who knows that all i need most nights is a silent head on my shoulder, hair spilled across my neck, and someone else's heart beat close enough to feel and time my own to.

She wasn't there.