Sorry for the eariler blog post. Things with family just blew up in my face and I also had some back handed shit done to me by some peeps I thought were my friends. To add to everything I am starting to feel like the little bunny in the video. It seems like all of my friends are having random sex with people and...
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Why can't fucking people realize what they are giving me I can't handle?
Every day I feel like more salt is rubbed into my wounds and no one cares. Soon I hope they will all realize they are not helping me they are just making me not want to be here anymore. I don't want to see my brains on the concrete but that is...
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Every day I feel like more salt is rubbed into my wounds and no one cares. Soon I hope they will all realize they are not helping me they are just making me not want to be here anymore. I don't want to see my brains on the concrete but that is...
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Well I have been off my meds for over a week now and I can tell you that I surely can feel it.
It is hard but some how I am managing to keep myself occupied and not thinking horrible thoughts like driving my car into oncoming traffic. I dunno I still am feeling like I don't want to be on this planet anymore but...
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It is hard but some how I am managing to keep myself occupied and not thinking horrible thoughts like driving my car into oncoming traffic. I dunno I still am feeling like I don't want to be on this planet anymore but...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
apathy:
beeeer
beeeer 
trexy111:
you are too sweet babe.
Couple of really interesting things happened over the last few days.
I haven't had any of my medication for depression since Thursday. So far I am actually doing alright. Last night I cried for the first time in a while and it felt good. I hated not caring and not feeling anything because of my meds.
What interestingly enough that came out of that was...
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I haven't had any of my medication for depression since Thursday. So far I am actually doing alright. Last night I cried for the first time in a while and it felt good. I hated not caring and not feeling anything because of my meds.
What interestingly enough that came out of that was...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
unholyroach:
give things time and wounds will heal. crying is good, very good. im worried casue its been a month for me and i have yet to cry. you let me know if you need anything. were in a similar boat here.
mstwinkle:
"I hated not caring and not feeling anything because of my meds."
I don't take any medication just for that reason. It's hard without it, but life is (in the end) much better and more fulfilling.
I don't take any medication just for that reason. It's hard without it, but life is (in the end) much better and more fulfilling.
OMG!
I just got home from one of the craziest parties ever. There was a haunted house, kareoke, a zip line and about 70-80 absolutely drunk people. By far one of the better parties I have ever been to. The spodie was intense, I think I almost got drunk just smelling the fruit.
In other news I finally gave myself a tattoo with my own...
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I just got home from one of the craziest parties ever. There was a haunted house, kareoke, a zip line and about 70-80 absolutely drunk people. By far one of the better parties I have ever been to. The spodie was intense, I think I almost got drunk just smelling the fruit.
In other news I finally gave myself a tattoo with my own...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
apathy:
waaah good part huh
givin yourself a tattoo must be the best. bzzzbzzzbzzzzzzz good noise i like it.
Eh.. the ex issue. Im livin one of those its quite confusing times isnt it. Same story and all too.
givin yourself a tattoo must be the best. bzzzbzzzbzzzzzzz good noise i like it.
Eh.. the ex issue. Im livin one of those its quite confusing times isnt it. Same story and all too.
architectonic:
Hey, I know failing a class isn't the end of the world, but the English system is very different to the US one (I know, I've tried explaining it before :-P). If I fail, I fail everything and then that's four years of my life, and a degree in my "strong points" that I've lost.
Time management isn't the issue, I've always been ok on that. I've just found education too easy all my life I think, and now I'm wondering what hit me. I finished my ALevels (end of "high school" exams, in case I'm being too British :-) ) wondering what all the fuss was about, when people kept telling me that I was supposed to be stressed/find them hard etc. Now I'm actually struggling and it's taken me by surprise. Yeah, I know, it's a degree, I'm supposed to find it hard!
I'll stop whining now. Thanks for listening - sometimes it's much easier to vent in type than in person (which is why Syrrys often gets long ranty emails even though on the phone I'm fine...
Time management isn't the issue, I've always been ok on that. I've just found education too easy all my life I think, and now I'm wondering what hit me. I finished my ALevels (end of "high school" exams, in case I'm being too British :-) ) wondering what all the fuss was about, when people kept telling me that I was supposed to be stressed/find them hard etc. Now I'm actually struggling and it's taken me by surprise. Yeah, I know, it's a degree, I'm supposed to find it hard!
I'll stop whining now. Thanks for listening - sometimes it's much easier to vent in type than in person (which is why Syrrys often gets long ranty emails even though on the phone I'm fine...
Well it has been a couple of days since I have posted a new blog.
I have been busy. A couple of days ago my grandmother who lives in an assisted living home had a stroke The bad part is that I am one of two people that she choose to make decisions for her if she should ever get to that point. I am...
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I have been busy. A couple of days ago my grandmother who lives in an assisted living home had a stroke The bad part is that I am one of two people that she choose to make decisions for her if she should ever get to that point. I am...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
martini:
im sorry about your gramma dear... 
im digging the new tattoos. very nice!
jesus christ do you ever look like my ex boyfriend!
have a good one.
xo
im digging the new tattoos. very nice!
jesus christ do you ever look like my ex boyfriend!
have a good one.
xo
cyrus:
i'm sorry to hear about your grandma.
So I am stoked!
My tattooing gear I ordered got here today so now it is time to destroy some fruit in the hopes that I can get a little bit more practice in before I tattoo myself. I already have like 3 designs planned out for my legs and such.
I also am going in to get the other winged skull on my chest...
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My tattooing gear I ordered got here today so now it is time to destroy some fruit in the hopes that I can get a little bit more practice in before I tattoo myself. I already have like 3 designs planned out for my legs and such.
I also am going in to get the other winged skull on my chest...
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madeleine:
Thanks for your nice comment. I hope...that you're NOT right, but my cynical little brain is telling me that you are!
A mohawk reappearance? How exciting! Good luck with the tattoo plans.
A mohawk reappearance? How exciting! Good luck with the tattoo plans.
So some how the restraunt I work at did manage to get open. I don't know how the health department didn't notice over half the shit that is wrong with our kitchen. The only good thing is that I still have a job.
I did get the first of the two skulls tattooed on my chest. I get the other one on Tuesday. When they...
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I did get the first of the two skulls tattooed on my chest. I get the other one on Tuesday. When they...
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martini:
i want to see the skull tattoos when they're finished.
the backpiece i have planned and drawn out has two skulls in it as well!
good to see the restaurant has re-opened for ya.
and, good call on the not drinking and driving.
xo
the backpiece i have planned and drawn out has two skulls in it as well!
good to see the restaurant has re-opened for ya.
and, good call on the not drinking and driving.
xo
So in the past two days the kitchen at my work caught fire, I got too drunk to drive home and did twice, and both times I almost wrapped my car around a tree. Life is fun when you just don't give a fuck anymore.
The good news is that I am getting the winged skull design that was in my last blog post tattooed...
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The good news is that I am getting the winged skull design that was in my last blog post tattooed...
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martini:
le boo on the fire... and the drinking + driving...
yay for the tattoo though.
i hope you realized that by requesting my friendship you have signed a contract that allows me to worry about you and nag you about doing dumb shit... LIKE DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE!
have a good day!
xo
yay for the tattoo though.
i hope you realized that by requesting my friendship you have signed a contract that allows me to worry about you and nag you about doing dumb shit... LIKE DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE!
have a good day!
xo
gahz:
The naggings will be accepted and appreciated. If there is anything that I have realized lately is that the people who really care nag the shit out of you to show you that they do care. As far as the driving under the influence, I think I am not gonna do that for some time. I got better things to do like get more tattoos and learn how to give em.
Drama between friends is always "interesting". I'm currently watching my friend get into a sort-of-not-really-almost relationship that I don't think will do them any good, but I've decided to stay out of it. I'll still be around to pick up the pieces.
I hope things ease up on you. Please don't think that bottles hold the answer.
On a lighter note, no idea about a tattoo... the face of an Indian chief? (I'm listening to RHCP, can you tell?)
Take care! xx