gadreel

I had a dream about sue last night...
I hate that. I just start getting over her, and all ready to tell her that we are through as friends and i have some dream where she finaly lets down her ice cold exterior and lets me into her painfull world.

We were at work together, and i was getting ready to go home. She drove by the punch clock so i positioned myself so she would have to pass me, and give her a chance to talk to me. Well she just zooms by and ignores me once agiain. Thats it, i tell myself... its over and im going to tell her the next day.
The next day i approach her in the office and tell her off. She breaks down and tells me, i cant remember what, but she puts her face next to mine and gives me a hug, sorta nuzzling my face with her nose, and asks me for more time. Of course i melt, kiss her on the forehead and go home.

Now im awake... This always happens when im about to give up on her. I love her... I wish i didnt but i do. How do i know? Because i want her to be happy, even if its not with me. And the thing that hurts more than her giving me the cold shoulder so often, is that i know inside she is really hurting, but she always comes to work and puts on a front and pretends like she is fine.

So here i sit... alone, and broken. I cannot end my friendship with her. If i give up on her... my love is just a fraud.