i cant change my profile pic i hate that pic. i don't even want a pic up right now
I miss my old favs that are no longer members.
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liz_marie1222:
I agree with the talking on here part. Something about it is just so much more raw and to the point that you know you won't be judged. It's so hard to keep life in perspective and I guess I'm glad that your wrist did that for you. And am OH SO GLAD that you are ok!
It sounds silly but when the tree went through my roof instead of seeing it as I shouldn't be in Wisconsin, I saw it differently. I was so upset about my life that night. So, fucking, upset. I was broke, hated my job, hated where I lived, don't know anyone here and felt trapped and claustrophobic. I thought that besides my family nothing else was in tune and thus couldn't get much worse. And then a fucking tree went through my roof and the picture of Braelen being trapped underneath a tree, hurt and all alone flashed through my mind. And when we were finally out of the house I thought of how much worse it could have been and how we were all lucky that none of us were hit by lightening, or crushed by a tree or electrocuted. I thought back to how upset I was that night and how I thought things couldn't get any worse. Well, having a tree fall through your roof is worse. Or losing your son at 8 months would be worse. So, I figure maybe it happened to show me that things can always get worse. And in the short amount of time that I've been on this Earth, I've already worked through so many things that were harder than simply living somewhere I don't want to live. Yes, I will get upset. Yes I do miss you like crazy. But in the end this is the only shot I get at life. What use is me being here if I fuck up the only shot I get because I don't like my job or I miss my friends? Like you said, jobs can be changed. Friends can be visited. So we all need to just suck it up and live the best life that we can with what we have to work with.
I love you and miss you so much. Although we have continued to be friends, I think it's been a while since we've had the deep friendship and connection we had when we were in college. However, I know that we are capable of that kind of friendship and that you are one of the most wonderful people I know. So, even though neither of us gets to talk to the other as much as we'd like, you'll always be my best friend and I'll always remember you as the one of the only people who really got me as a person.
It sounds silly but when the tree went through my roof instead of seeing it as I shouldn't be in Wisconsin, I saw it differently. I was so upset about my life that night. So, fucking, upset. I was broke, hated my job, hated where I lived, don't know anyone here and felt trapped and claustrophobic. I thought that besides my family nothing else was in tune and thus couldn't get much worse. And then a fucking tree went through my roof and the picture of Braelen being trapped underneath a tree, hurt and all alone flashed through my mind. And when we were finally out of the house I thought of how much worse it could have been and how we were all lucky that none of us were hit by lightening, or crushed by a tree or electrocuted. I thought back to how upset I was that night and how I thought things couldn't get any worse. Well, having a tree fall through your roof is worse. Or losing your son at 8 months would be worse. So, I figure maybe it happened to show me that things can always get worse. And in the short amount of time that I've been on this Earth, I've already worked through so many things that were harder than simply living somewhere I don't want to live. Yes, I will get upset. Yes I do miss you like crazy. But in the end this is the only shot I get at life. What use is me being here if I fuck up the only shot I get because I don't like my job or I miss my friends? Like you said, jobs can be changed. Friends can be visited. So we all need to just suck it up and live the best life that we can with what we have to work with.
I love you and miss you so much. Although we have continued to be friends, I think it's been a while since we've had the deep friendship and connection we had when we were in college. However, I know that we are capable of that kind of friendship and that you are one of the most wonderful people I know. So, even though neither of us gets to talk to the other as much as we'd like, you'll always be my best friend and I'll always remember you as the one of the only people who really got me as a person.
liz_marie1222:
Wow, I really hope Jarred gets that job too. A baby!!! That would be awesome! I could come and dance with your tummy!
So far I am on day 4 of being a stay at home mommy. Financially it probably isn't the best thing in the world to do b/c we are super strapped. But, I think we'll be so much happier this way b/c we will get to spend a couple days together as a family and I really did hate all the mean people at the store. I'd be fine helping nice people find furniture, but when they treat me like I'm a piece of shit I just don't have the heart for it. I want to get up sometime this summer to see your house and visit you, but I'm not sure if we'll have the money. I might be coming up for my coz's wedding if we can afford it, and if I do, can I stay overnight w/you?
That's super shitty that your wrist isn't healing well. I was hoping the stitches would be the end of it. Give it a kiss from Braelen, baby kisses have super feel good powers.
So far I am on day 4 of being a stay at home mommy. Financially it probably isn't the best thing in the world to do b/c we are super strapped. But, I think we'll be so much happier this way b/c we will get to spend a couple days together as a family and I really did hate all the mean people at the store. I'd be fine helping nice people find furniture, but when they treat me like I'm a piece of shit I just don't have the heart for it. I want to get up sometime this summer to see your house and visit you, but I'm not sure if we'll have the money. I might be coming up for my coz's wedding if we can afford it, and if I do, can I stay overnight w/you?
That's super shitty that your wrist isn't healing well. I was hoping the stitches would be the end of it. Give it a kiss from Braelen, baby kisses have super feel good powers.
I don't know why i came back i guess the whole 3 months for free thing did it
quidam:
that is exactly why. They are giving out freebies to get people back is the best we can all come up with.
adoll:
Yay freebies yo gabba rammablobammafrigasaaammmma!! How ya been lady?
jarreds home yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love him so much i missed him so much. we are going to get a place together in a month yay no more parents yay. um jarreds giving me kisses and it is making me miss type words. k i gots to go talk to you kids later
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codemonkeym:
I guess you're keeping busy. 
you know whats funny? when a person you had the hots for a long time ago didn't even know you were alive, but 10 years has past and now they have the hots for you and you don't remember what was so hot back then.
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liz_marie1222:
hey...i'm sorry. Jason had said something to the effect "well titty agrees with me". So I was like oh, ok. I know that this is difficult for you to get involved in. I guess i'm just mad at jason for mooching on my friends all the time and not making his own. I know that you and Jason are friends now and that doesn't bother me. I'm glad he has an awesome friend like you. But I just mean in general. He was trying to get Amber to hook him up, and then Rachel. And I was like umm....I know these guys are your friends too...but how about you find your own for a change. That's mean. I'm a bitch. Nevermind...I hate life. And yes I am skipping work today with the risk I will get fired b/c I can't get my fat ass out of bed. I am thinking of spending another few days in the hospital just so I don't do anything stupid. But fuck I hated it there. Ugh. Help I'm soooooooo fucking Ssssstttttuuuuuppppppiiiiiiddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
argentumblack:
Thats only happened once....and i dun fucked it up. 
Well Im going to try really hard not to sound like the amazingly boring person that I am. This past month has been pretty good. My friends from college came home for winter break. They are 21 so I went to the bars a lot with them. That was actually cool being able to go out and do something past ten at night because nothing...
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magendavid:
it about wet myself reading that entry...the first part anyways...so true so true...but hey! I turn 21 in a month...and one day! so we have to go to the bar at least once...we'll drag carl with because he's the only other person i know over 21...were getting so old...sad...but anyways...i miss you too! life here is go to class and watch late night programs on tv. or go to a friends house and watch it there with the short bs every now and then...wow i'm really getting old...so anyways i will let you know when I"m back in town i don't think i will be for a while so...but I will keep in touch
les
les
zanafar:
Hi there.
How you doing lately?
How you doing lately?
Hey just wanted to let everyone know Im still alive. I have just been so busy with work then after work I go out with friends for a little bit then go bed. Or I come home play with my rat then go to bed and yes Im going to go to bed now.
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argentumblack:
ello luv 
magendavid:
It's always good news when you wake up and don't see your name in the obituaries...well for a run down of my past couple of weeks...i have nothing to report...
How can I be so sad when I dont even have it that bad? People have it ten times worse then me but for some reason they arent sad they are happy to be alive. How can I be so selfish in wanting to die when others are just thankful they mad it another day. I just dont get it. Right now things are ok...
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liz_marie1222:
I love u babe!!!! Hope u had a great xmas!!!!
zanafar:
Where have you been....I miss you 
Hope you had a good holiday
Hope you had a good holiday
I use to be happy once I couldnt understand way I wanted to end my life. That was 4 years ago and it only lasted a year. It was so silly I remember driving and thinking to my self why did I want to die all those years I was alive. Now I look back and desperately try to grasp the concept of being happy....
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argentumblack:
Sweetie...i've was their for a year....keep your chin up and you'll pull through.
liz_marie1222:
I love you soooooo much Gabby. I know how this feels, but I know that that makes no difference when you feel this way. But think of it this way....If you were dead I would never be able to see you ever again. Since you are my favorite person in the whole world, your absence in my life would give me no reason to live. I know that sounds like a weird guilt trip but it's not. I am just trying to let you know how fucking important you are to me. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Love is a reason for you to live. And I love you, there is nothing that will ever change that.
Sorry I need to get onto suicide girls more often but its hard to find time lately. And then when I do get on I dont have any thing to say. Goddamn Im good at making dreams that will never happen. I could sit out back and count stars that I have made dreams on. Im such a moron; nothing I want will ever happen...
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liz_marie1222:
Gabby, grrr....dunno what to say. How can your man not like me because he is afraid I will steal you from him? If he weren't so controlling and didn't need to control your friends and your actions he wouldn't have to worry about the friends you have choosen. I can not stress enough how important it is to not let anyone control your life...not me, not jarred and not anyone on this site. I know you love jarred, and I am certainly positive there is tons to love about him. All I can tell you is that Jason and I love you and if you ever need anything we will be there for you. We support every decision you make, even if we don't agree with it or like it. Don't live your life in regret because this is the only one you have.
Love You Babe!
Liz
Love You Babe!
Liz
argentumblack:
Well i've been crushed many times....i'm used to it. 