I'm thinking about writing an alternative history story. In it, George Lucas casts Heath Ledger to play Anakin Skywalker in the prequels. This would have been a logical choice, as Ledger had just made a name for himself after A Knight's Tale and The Patriot. This also would have changed the plot for Episode I to accommodate Anakin being around 19-20 (the same age as Luke when he set off on his hero's journey). The resulting movie is so good that Lucas relinquishes directorial control of the subsequent movies to Ridley Scott, who blows the next second film out of the water, and to Joss Whedon who handles the third film in his typical form, since he gets to kill off some beloved characters. The three prequels are such hits that Star Wars fans have serious debates between which are better, the prequels or the originals, much like Star Trek fans do. George Lucas gives control of LucasFilm to 20th Century Fox, and dies in peace.
Heath Ledger and Natalie Portman actually get together during the filming, and stay together. She convinces him not to do "Brokeback Mountain". He still plays the Joker and becomes the second person to play both a Skywalker and the Joker. He does not kill himself, because he's married to Natalie Portman, which rocks. "The Dark Knight Rises" sucks less because he comes back at the end of it, and Batman doesn't fake his death with a nuclear bomb.
Upon coming to the U.S., four of the 9/11 hijackers become such huge Star Wars geeks that they instead go to Hollywood to try to become extras in the movies. They are cast as Sand People, giving them purpose in life. They report the 9/11 plot to the authorities, and prevent the destruction of the WTC. A CIA drone kills Bin Laden before he can murder Masood. The U.S. sends in Special Operations Teams with air support to help the Northern Alliance oust the Taliban from Afghanistan. Masood becomes the first president of the free Afghanistan and the limited U.S. presence returns home for Christmas, 2003.
The sudden regime toppling in Afghanistan scares Saddam Hussein into allowing U.N. weapons inspectors unlimited access to all his facilities, and bowing to pressure from the Iraqi people he allows sections of his government to be run by Shiites, which effectively reduce him to a figurehead. Iran sees this as their opportunity and attempt to renew hostilities with Iraq, but the new Afghan government to their East promises to allow U.S. airstrikes against Iran if they start a conflict. Two years later, Saddam leaves power and a new democratically elected (still corrupt, but hey, it's Iraq) president comes to power.
Due to the lack of fighting two wars, the U.S. government heads off the housing bubble before it becomes a major problem, which prevents the banks from collapsing. The government requires American corporations to invest a certain position of their production capital in the U.S., which leads to a new boom of production jobs. iPods are produced in the United States in a majority-automated factory in Mississippi, which still provides thousands of jobs.
The budget surplus, combined with the renewed fervor in space brought about by Star Wars (which renews interest in Star Trek, as well), prompts the government to invest in the space program once again. Coupling with private space industry, the government helps fund the first mission to land humans on an asteroid, followed in 2009 by the completion of the first manned mission to Mars. The governments of the U.S., China, Russia, Great Britain, and India compromise on the petition to build a Death Star and agree to build a permanent starship that is self-propelled and capable of sustained interplanetary flight, and use asteroid-mined resources as fuel. The keel is laid in low orbit of the U.S.S. Enterprise in 2012, with plans to lay the keel of the U.S.S. Millenium Falcon in 2015. This opens an entirely new industry to support the highly lucrative space exploration and resource exploitation.
Twilight is written, but never makes it to press. Stephanie Meyer instead just writes Star Wars fan fiction.
Basically what I'm saying is it all went wrong when George Lucas fucked up the prequels.
Heath Ledger and Natalie Portman actually get together during the filming, and stay together. She convinces him not to do "Brokeback Mountain". He still plays the Joker and becomes the second person to play both a Skywalker and the Joker. He does not kill himself, because he's married to Natalie Portman, which rocks. "The Dark Knight Rises" sucks less because he comes back at the end of it, and Batman doesn't fake his death with a nuclear bomb.
Upon coming to the U.S., four of the 9/11 hijackers become such huge Star Wars geeks that they instead go to Hollywood to try to become extras in the movies. They are cast as Sand People, giving them purpose in life. They report the 9/11 plot to the authorities, and prevent the destruction of the WTC. A CIA drone kills Bin Laden before he can murder Masood. The U.S. sends in Special Operations Teams with air support to help the Northern Alliance oust the Taliban from Afghanistan. Masood becomes the first president of the free Afghanistan and the limited U.S. presence returns home for Christmas, 2003.
The sudden regime toppling in Afghanistan scares Saddam Hussein into allowing U.N. weapons inspectors unlimited access to all his facilities, and bowing to pressure from the Iraqi people he allows sections of his government to be run by Shiites, which effectively reduce him to a figurehead. Iran sees this as their opportunity and attempt to renew hostilities with Iraq, but the new Afghan government to their East promises to allow U.S. airstrikes against Iran if they start a conflict. Two years later, Saddam leaves power and a new democratically elected (still corrupt, but hey, it's Iraq) president comes to power.
Due to the lack of fighting two wars, the U.S. government heads off the housing bubble before it becomes a major problem, which prevents the banks from collapsing. The government requires American corporations to invest a certain position of their production capital in the U.S., which leads to a new boom of production jobs. iPods are produced in the United States in a majority-automated factory in Mississippi, which still provides thousands of jobs.
The budget surplus, combined with the renewed fervor in space brought about by Star Wars (which renews interest in Star Trek, as well), prompts the government to invest in the space program once again. Coupling with private space industry, the government helps fund the first mission to land humans on an asteroid, followed in 2009 by the completion of the first manned mission to Mars. The governments of the U.S., China, Russia, Great Britain, and India compromise on the petition to build a Death Star and agree to build a permanent starship that is self-propelled and capable of sustained interplanetary flight, and use asteroid-mined resources as fuel. The keel is laid in low orbit of the U.S.S. Enterprise in 2012, with plans to lay the keel of the U.S.S. Millenium Falcon in 2015. This opens an entirely new industry to support the highly lucrative space exploration and resource exploitation.
Twilight is written, but never makes it to press. Stephanie Meyer instead just writes Star Wars fan fiction.
Basically what I'm saying is it all went wrong when George Lucas fucked up the prequels.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
gabeofthorns:
Yep. I love me some Natalie Portman. She's a badass.
devon:
look good idea yeah