so recently I went through this bad breakup, and have been kinda yo-yoing back and forth between being ok with it, and being miserable about it. But lately I have bene really good, I have realized I have some things about myself that I need to work on, and have been. But she flipped out on me today because I took her off of my myspace friedns list because she had a picture of her and her new boyfriend up, and I dint want to have that reminder there that might put me back into a really bad spot, I explained to her why and was really polite, and said that i wasn't trying to get her out of my life completelly I just was trying to get past the fact that she was with someone else and trying to be ok with it, because I havent been, and thats not fair to her. but she told me that I am being immature and said if that is going to be how I am than to have a good life... I am so fucking confused right now. How can she see it that way, I am trying to be happy for her. the weird thing is, I am not really upset at all, just a little dissapointed that she refuses to see it from where I am coming from. am I being rediculous?
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um actually sir, i have never had a kiss that meant a thing. in my life time i can count the amount of people who have hugged me and meant it on one hand. i have no real friends. i might lack the ability. i have never loved and never been loved. i dont know what it means to be held close. i dont know what it is to love.
i am young i know this, but i havent family because dna doesnt mean shit, i wasnt raised to know how to care, so i dont make friends well and to anyone who has beena friend i am disposable. and to honestly connect and open up and be with a lover? impossible. i dont know how to care.
i know im young. im only 20. but 20 years is a long time to be lonely, no???