fusionface

OK so now that we're a little way into the New Year I suppose I can put a recap of the past events leading up to my New Year's blowout- and I do mean "blow out"- The foul year of our lord 2003 came and went in a spiral of unexpected change and chaos involving several barroom incidents leaving people mangled, stumbling, puking and generally fucked up. I learned along the way that I had a natural prowess for accruing free items w/the strange moniker "Jagermeister" branded upon every inch, given to me by beautiful, willing maidens. I learned that strippers will not only steal alcohol from other unsuspecting patrons to help you in your quest to get exceedingly drunk, but will then allow you to break almost every cardinal rule written in The Lord's Book of Stripperdom. It is approximate that the top speed possible to be attained in a 1990 Chevy Astrovan is 110 mph confirmed by frequent testing of top officials such as myself, and that, for a vehicle designed after long hours of staring at a bread box, handles surprisingly well when maneuvering between semis blocking the highway. I found out that that Slayer is just a smidge more deafening than Ministry, yet both have the potential to give you very large welts on your arms and body. Alas, the pleasure of life is ripe w/bounty, but only for the willing and able. Now time for me to stop babbling and get the fuck on w/it!