furnier

Let's see, Mom's out of the hospital and back home. Yay. My little brother, on the other hand, may be making his own hospital trip, Mom says he seems to have Pleurisy.(Super Pneumonia)

My younger sister hasn't spoken to me since my abortive trip back home last month. Seems she's holding it against me that I couldn't make it on the plane. She has a knack for holding a grudge. She hasn't spoken to our brother in twenty five years and all he did was be born a few minutes after her. Jen's married, pregnant and has a nice normal family now to keep her from spending too much time on her own Olympic class dysfunctional one.
I get more "screwed up" points than anyone else 'cause Kevin and I aren't married. Sheesh.
She can't understand how we've been together for six years and haven't gotten hitched.
So, I'm anticipating being effectively cut out of my soon to be nephews life. Wouldn't want me contaminating him with my
abnormalcy.

Okay, well, didn't expect that to turn into a rant. Hooray for pent up frustration.
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More quotes, cause I can always use a laugh.

"I want you to remember, I intend this breast satirically."

"I like naked women. I'm a bloke. I'm supposed to like them. We're born like that. We like naked women as soon as we're pulled out of one. Halfway down the birth canal we're already enjoying the view. "

"It is the four pillars of the male heterosexual psyche. We like: naked women, stockings, lesbians, and Sean Connery best as James Bond, because that is what being a boy is."

"Sex.... It's just like cuddling - only damper."

"Do you think there's such a thing as airborne calories? Maybe they just jump directly onto your hips."