What being a suicide girl means to me, I know I just did a blog piece but whatever I had to get this one out so here it is! @bloghomework
I just recently had a friend ask me how I've been doing, I deleted my fb months back after a long year of one of the worst times of my life, not a lot of people know what I'm up to. I don't feel that I know who I've become from all I've been through. So I've been very private in my life haha heaven forbid ppl pick up the phone and call right? Everything has to be on fb or ppl are convinced you're dead. Anyways. I told him I applied to be a SG hopeful and he kinda puzzlingly asks "well....what's that gonna do for your life?"
So this is my written response.
I've wanted to do it for years, I wanted to be a suicide girl, I use to model with my gfs in highschool, we'd all bring our best lingerie and we would take photos on the farm, haha we never showed anyone but we always looked at the new SGs and got total lady boners over them and their tattoos and ugh....so beautiful. Over the years I was always held back to doing it cuz of my boyfriends, all would give me the reassurance that "yeah you could totally do it! But not with me, I can't stand the thought of other dudes getting off to you" so they didn't want me to or I was scared of what my friends and family would think. Having my two most recent bfs dump me for my self esteem issues was enough of a kick in the ass like you know what? Fuck it. I'm doing this. So I applied ☺️ awaiting my first set to be shot in a few weeks and I'm beyond excited and happy. That's what it will do with my time as a Suicide girl, I don't want to be a model haha I know that, but I wanna be a suicide girl, always have. I worked in the tattoo industry for 5 years, I love art and SGs have always been decorated in the most beautiful tattoos, it was inspiring to me to be a tattoo artist and I pursued that for a very long time and was always told by the owners and artists "you should really be a suicide girl" and I always gave these stupid excuses....honestly I had no valid reason other than I didn't wanna piss off my bf. But after everything in my life that's changed I've become more accustomed to the term "unconditional love", loving someone no matter what. If my partner doesn't support this, well there's the door. friends? They come and go and this is an easy way to weed out the good from the bad, but Having my friends congratulate me saying they know this is something I've always wanted is one of the best feelings in the world. Knowing that they've seen this dream in my eyes for a long time and they're stoked I'm doing it. Best feeling ever!
I'm glad some of the hardest steps for me in this are turning out so well, very happy with the girls I've met here and happy to be apart of something I've supported for so many years <3
bead76:
A great blog btw... It's great that your now doing what you've always admired & love, glad that you found supportive friends who just want to support you and for you to be happy. Best of luck with your photo shoot & I hope you achieve everything you wish to gain from this experience on SG. I myself love the community here and how welcoming you are made to feel regardless of social status, from both the ladies to the other users of the site. Look forward to seeing your career grow, and your no doubt excellent photo sets. xoxo
kyanite:
Love this hun. Glad you've gone ahead with it. Your amazingly beautiful 😘