funkabella

Everyone has someone in their lives that has passed away or isnt there anymore for whatever reason, that they painfully miss-them not being there makes you feel empty and searching for that filler........for me its my grandpa, my poppy. This time of year is hard for me because the 4th of July was his bithday, its always really hard but this time of year pains me more than I can explain. Even though he came to the u.s. when he was 28, ironically his bday was the 4th of july and he loved it. We always had a huge celebration, now we dont. its missing, hes missing, part of me is missing. When I meet people I always wonder what he would think, because I'd totally run them by him first. He was a really good judge of character. Its been a long time since I've met someone genuine, and that is scary in and of itself. Someone that actually isnt a bullshitter and knows what end is up. Someone that doesnt want to hurt you because they've been hurt alot themsleves. Someone you'd like to get to k now better and let them know its ok for them to trust you.......but it doesnt work like that. I met someone like that. It probably wont turn into anything with my luck, but I'm glad I met you. You might think that I'm pushy or all the other adjectives that we've gone over LOL but i'm not like that with everyone. KNOW THAT. Theres a reason for everything.....So yeah this time of year makes me think alot, to much probably. Late nights where angie cant sleep-the wheels in my head turn so fast i'm surprised some havent flown out my ears......its hard. I want to go away and remember, instead of being here suffocating in the memories. Take me away. If only for a little while.

YA KNOW WHAT FUCK EVERYTHING I JUST WROTE.