funkabella

its hard for me to get it into my head that someone can do certain things with you, and share like intimate things, and have been your friend before, but now they want nothing to do with you, even though they KNOW you'd do anything for them. They KNOW you care about them and what happens to them. Maybe the fact that they know you would do that for them, and that they matter so much to you makes them not give a shit? It makes you look like an idiot because you have a heart, which is even more pathetic. I understand when you dont want to get emotionally involved on a certain level but dont friends care, dont friends treat eachother with some kind of code? I guess being ignored for this long means I dont matter to him, and I was a big joke, or a mistake in his eyes. It really bothers me, and not for the reasons he would assume. I dont love him, trust me on that one, and if he thinks I do because I gave him a present or something lame like that he need's to fuckign wake up and see that means I CARE, I do that with all my friends. I wish it was different, I think he is at the core a really awesome person, and has come a long way, and is so cute/funny/smart/determined/and blah blah blah. I'd be there for him in a minute if he needed me. I cant stop caring even though I think he has. Is that lame? How do you just NOT CARE? Wana help me out on this one?

p.s. my lipl still hurts, i would frown but i might CRY from the pain of my lip ring, NOT the pain of a friend who is a jackass.