frozensunshine

i know im the last person you expected to be posting here, but i feel i must. i lost my poppy <grandpa> 2 years ago-he was my best friend. i will never get over it, but time goes by and life goes on, its all you can do is keep trudging through the mess of life. sometimes things happen and they make you question every single thing around you. but you get no answers. its so hard mama, and i am seriously feeling your pain. my x fiance went into a sleep apnea induced heart attack and then coma and died. i wasnt there, it was really hard and im still dealing with that. hard things happen, but you will make it through. your friend knows your there when you see her, it is a huge shame that happened to her and i am so very sorry. life does things thath make us wonder why even bother, but then you have that tiny little glimmer split second of a happy thought or feeling or memory <especially in these 2 cases> and you remember why you keep living and breathing and trying, KEEP TRYING because when it happens, it is beautiful. things will even themselves out eventually, if you really need me, im close and im here. although im probably not the most stable rite now id be happy to help you in anyway you need. today im listening to willie nelson, with my grandpas ashes, chain smoking and crying LOL wana come over?
i love you and am sorry bad things went down between us. i wish the best for you and yours. i send healing and loving vibess as well. much luck jamie, honestly from my heart.
love always~
angie

i wanted to add in my opinion, being in the room with your gram is important. you should be there, she knows your there and its a good thing. its hard as hell, and to this day i have nightmares, i was there when my grandpa passed, and i remember the sound of his last breath out. but i wouldnt change that for the world. he knew i was there and any last moment i can spend with him holding his hand remembering all the amazing times we had together i would take in a minute, id give up 10 years of my life t have 1 more day with him. take advatage of what you have mama. please. you will thank yourself in the end. you can do it your strong.
love
angie