Thanks again for the extra questions and the happy birthday wishes! I love each and every last one of you. We should all have sex one day.
As usual these were fun to answer and I promise I shall not ask for more! Now some questions for you!
Q.
1. What was the best birthday gift you ever received?
2. What artist (author/painter/band/etc) do you wish had more attention?
3. If I were to stand on one foot atop a footstool, how many eggs would you need to throw to knock me off?
And now.your answers.
Q. What is the toughest mythical animal?
A. Hmmmgood question. Maybe the Kraken (provided one does NOT have the head of Medusae).
Q. Who would you like to win the Stanley Cup this year?
A. The San Jose Sharks
Q. Have you ever attended an NHL game?
A. Yes, many. Regular season and playoff games.
Q. What is your shoe size?
A. Size 12
Q. What was your favorite birthday gift?
A. Whatever it isIts not here yet. Its still in the mail and its a surprise but I know Ill love it.
Q. Do you like coffee? If so, what is your favorite coffee place? If not, what do you drink instead and where do you get it?
A. I LOVE coffee. I dont really have a favorite place. I go to Starbucks cause its closest.
Q. what have you always wondered?
A. How to ask a girl out without seeming like a stuttering tool.
Q. what do you subscribe to (aside from SG)?
A. Nothing.
Q. what was the last dream you had?
A. I dreamt that I was in a house that had been converted into a haunted house for a theme night. I wandered off the tour and crawled through a window into the backyard. The weeds were overgrown and I felt alone.
Q. did you dream in color or black and white?
A. Always in vivid color.
Q. what was the last party you went to?
A. New Years Eve in Martinez, Ca. I got punched in the jaw.
Q. what did you get for your birthday?
A. Wowa lot of stuff. I got gift certificates but Ill just list what I used them for.
CDs: Funkaphonix Vols. 4-6 (various artists), the entire Gwar catalog, John Martyn Church With One Bell, the soundtrack for the film Bandolero, John Zorns Electric Masada 50th Birthday Celebration, Tina Brooks Minor Move, Devin Townsends Physicist, Bela Bartoks Microcosmos
DVDs: Double Suicide, The Last Samurai, A Bookshelf On Top Of The Sky, Walkabout, The Man With The Movie Camera, The Seashell and The Clergyman (VHS).
Books: Thylacine by David Owen, Love Stories Of World War Two by Larry King, The Secret Life Of Wombats by James Woodford
AND a bracelet and some surprises to come maybe?
Sounds like a lot but I bought used.
Q. what did you wish you got for your birthday?
A. These two surprise boxes. Theyre not here yet and Im sad.
Q. can i get you a corndog as a b-day gift?
A. Just one? Cheapo!
Q. when was the last time you performed?
A. Missionary, Doggie, Scissors and me on the bottom were all performed in one night in November. Im horny.
Q. do you have a strategy?
A. When Im the Allies, its let the Axis have Africa at first. When Im the Axis, its fighting the war on the Western front first.
Q. what are you ashamed of?
A. Ive treated women Ive dated poorly in the past. Mentallynever physically.
Q. what's the last piece of gossip you've heard?
A. I heard that owning windchimes is gay
Q. are you lactose intollerant?
A. No
Q. if you sing, would people crouch in pain or gaze admirably upon you?
A. I have nearly a three octave vocal range while I'm alone, but I choke under pressure. Im usually only good for backing vocals. Soprobably pain.
Q. what do you think of men who dance in ballets?
A. I think that it takes a lot of talent to be a professional ballet dancer, male or female. I admire all the arts and the artists that dedicate their lives to them. I also think theyre homos.
Q. gummy bears or caramel apples?
A. Gummy Bears
Q. orange juice or cranberry juice?
A. I like both but having to choose just one.Cranberry. I used to like to pretend it was wine as a kid. I also get fierce yeast infections in my mangina.
Q. frosted shredded wheat or honey nut shredded wheat?
A. Frosted
Q. do you have a mentor? if so, who is it? what does s/he mentor you in?
A. I dont really have one that I am in contact with often. There is a gentleman who is a professional musician that I email back and forth with though. I admire his taste in the arts and look up to him to some degree.
Q. have you ever lost the remote?
A. Probably but not that I can recall. Im not messy and I keep my remotes in the same spot usually
Q. are you going to record that a&e special?
A. Nope. I hope I get to see it as it airs.
Q. Would you be so hot if you weren't dead?
A. No. Being dead is the ultimate in hotness. Chicks dig Goth.
Q. where do i send the male *scratches out male* female stripper?
A. Claytonand hurry
Q. can i borrow your cufflinks?
A. Mi cufflinks es tu cufflinks
Q. What is your favorite movie line?
A. This is my boomstick! - Ash
Q. What is your favorite sound?
A. Traffic sounds as I fall asleep, rain on a tin roof, when my cats meow, a sexual moan or whimper, turn signals in old cars, the first note I play on my upright bass on any given day, a female with a slight southern drawlso many.
Q. Assume for a moment that god exists. What would you like God to say to you when you get to Heaven?
A. Im taking off for a bit. Youre in charge.
Q. Have you ever killed a man just to watch him die?
A. Only in Reno
Q. are you easily confused?
A. The platypus has no nipples and secretes milk for its young through pores.
Q. if california fell off and sank, where would you move to?
A. I would bury myself in Uranus
Q. if you could have one person on SG put to death, who would it be?
A. DeadlyEye. I HATE him.
Q. will you marry me?
A. As soon as I get you to sign that pre-nup. Im gonna be rich someday.
Q. what do you want for your birthday that you know you won't get?
A. A blow job. OR for someone with internet search skills to track down, buy, and mail me the book El Animal Que Todos Llevamos Dentro by Leo Masliah OR The Aqua Teen Hunger Force DVD box set.
Q. do you get to pick special birthday dinner food? if yes, what did you pick?
A. Nope. I got a Philly cheesesteak for lunch though (I was bad)
Q. are you wearing your birthday suit?
A. Not right now. Im naked. My birthday suit is at the cleaners.
Q. white meat or dark meat?
A. White meat
Q. favorite foriegn film?
A. Its a tie between Black Cat, White Cat, Stroszek, Stalingrad, Seven Samurai, La Strada, & Simon Of The Desert
Q. how many times have you been in love?
A. Three times
Q. what's your middle name?
A. Edward
Q. can you drive a motorcycle?
A. No
Q. have you ever tried to stop smoking?
A. Yes. Im just not a quitter
Q. do you want some ice cream?
A. Im not a big ice cream fan. Depends on what kind.
Q. who is your favorite SG member? (besides evilwillow)
A. I have so many for many different reasons. I wont pick just one.
Q. why did you join SG?
A. I was horny one night and I caved. I was frustrated cause I wanted to beat off to a punk chick. I joined for a month and Im still here 13 months later.
Q. has your ass healed yet from 1Lunatic?
A. No. He keeps it in a constant state of sexual disrepair. I
him for that.
Q. did you go to your high school prom?
A. Yes, and I went to another high schools prom the very next day.
Q. what's the weather like?
A. Here? Mid 70s partly cloudy
Q. do you have any pet peeves?
A. I dont like liars (with the intent to hurt or hide info), flakes, people who are late constantly, broken promises, or cheaters.
Q. paper or plastic?
A. I never ask for a bag unless I need one. If I do need one, I really dont care what kind.
Q. do you have a life philosophy?
A. W.W.J.D.?
Q. what is your biggest regret?
A. Not going to a certain funeral
Q. what is your biggest accomplishment?
A. I dunnoI havent been arrested yet, I lost my virginity, I headlined the Whiskey A-Go-Go on a weekend night.
Q. righty or lefty?
A. If the girl in the porn looks like a whore, then my right hand. If she looks nave, then my left. Im right handedfigure it out.
Q. anyone ever sent you flowers?
A. No. Never
Q. what is in your refrigerator right now?
A. 7-Up, Gatorade, old condiments, half a Subway sammich, leftover pizza
Q. are you allergic to anything?
A. Nope
Q. do you like soup?
A. I love soup especially the minestrone from Westlake Joes in Westlake, Ca.
Q. what would you do if you were omnipotent for a day?
A. Ask myself a bunch of astronomy questions
Q. would you like to be immortal?
A. Only if I could choose to die when I got bored.
Q. Do you have a girlfriend?
A. evilwillow
Q. If yes do you pretend to care about her feelings or do you actually care about her feelings?
A. Of course I careunless Im REAL horny.
Q. Have you ever called a girl honey, snookums or tootsie?
A. Yesalways have and always will
Q. Have you ever ditched a girl to smoke weed or to get drunk?
A. Maybe to drink with the guys but all the girls Ive dated have always been welcome with my guy friends. I dont smoke pot.
Q. Have you ever walked away from a girlfriend while she was talking to you?
A. Once and she threw a beer bottle at me and it sliced my ankle open.
Q. Have you ever told a crying girl to shut up?
A. No. Crying melts whatever anger I may have. Wellmaybe my sister when I was younger
Q. Have you ever lifted a finger to save the rainforest?
A. Nope
Q. Have you ever tried to save a wounded bird?
A. Yeah
Q. Do you own an alley maggot? (translation: alley cat)
A. Yep.
Q. Have you ever spared any animals because they were cute?
A. Spared from what? I dont hunt them or kill them for pleasure.
Q. Do you think hunting is wrong?
A. Only when Native Americans do it for food, clothing, or shelter.
Q. Do you consider yourself an ethnic minority?
A. I do not
Q. Do you get pissed when someone makes a joke about your heritage?
A. Not at all.
Q. How do you feel when someone says the word fag?
A. If its in jest I laugh if its not I usually ignore it. I could care less what people utter and I dont get on a box and bitch about peoples language
Q. Do you find retards hilarious?
A. No.my uncle is retarded. I do laugh at retarded joke if theyre funny and I do call people retard now and again though
Q. Have you ever laughed at a midget?
A. How could I not?!
Q. Did the dead girl in the closet from THE RING make you jump?
A. Never seen it
Q. Do you play rugby?
A. No
Q. Have you ever taken a yoga class?
A. No
Q. what does being good get you?
A. A date with Linz? 
Q. So why did you decide to shave your beard?
A. It itched and I needed to make a symbolic change in my life
Q. What was the sexiest year?
A. 1945 when the American GIs returned from Europe.
Q. I don't have any good questions, can you suggest one?
A. Yes. How about What was the sexiest year? ?
Q. are we there yet?
A. I dont think so but Im not sure where we were going.
Damnthat took forever. Ill never do this again.
As usual these were fun to answer and I promise I shall not ask for more! Now some questions for you!
Q.
1. What was the best birthday gift you ever received?
2. What artist (author/painter/band/etc) do you wish had more attention?
3. If I were to stand on one foot atop a footstool, how many eggs would you need to throw to knock me off?
And now.your answers.
Q. What is the toughest mythical animal?
A. Hmmmgood question. Maybe the Kraken (provided one does NOT have the head of Medusae).
Q. Who would you like to win the Stanley Cup this year?
A. The San Jose Sharks
Q. Have you ever attended an NHL game?
A. Yes, many. Regular season and playoff games.
Q. What is your shoe size?
A. Size 12
Q. What was your favorite birthday gift?
A. Whatever it isIts not here yet. Its still in the mail and its a surprise but I know Ill love it.
Q. Do you like coffee? If so, what is your favorite coffee place? If not, what do you drink instead and where do you get it?
A. I LOVE coffee. I dont really have a favorite place. I go to Starbucks cause its closest.
Q. what have you always wondered?
A. How to ask a girl out without seeming like a stuttering tool.
Q. what do you subscribe to (aside from SG)?
A. Nothing.
Q. what was the last dream you had?
A. I dreamt that I was in a house that had been converted into a haunted house for a theme night. I wandered off the tour and crawled through a window into the backyard. The weeds were overgrown and I felt alone.
Q. did you dream in color or black and white?
A. Always in vivid color.
Q. what was the last party you went to?
A. New Years Eve in Martinez, Ca. I got punched in the jaw.
Q. what did you get for your birthday?
A. Wowa lot of stuff. I got gift certificates but Ill just list what I used them for.
CDs: Funkaphonix Vols. 4-6 (various artists), the entire Gwar catalog, John Martyn Church With One Bell, the soundtrack for the film Bandolero, John Zorns Electric Masada 50th Birthday Celebration, Tina Brooks Minor Move, Devin Townsends Physicist, Bela Bartoks Microcosmos
DVDs: Double Suicide, The Last Samurai, A Bookshelf On Top Of The Sky, Walkabout, The Man With The Movie Camera, The Seashell and The Clergyman (VHS).
Books: Thylacine by David Owen, Love Stories Of World War Two by Larry King, The Secret Life Of Wombats by James Woodford
AND a bracelet and some surprises to come maybe?
Sounds like a lot but I bought used.
Q. what did you wish you got for your birthday?
A. These two surprise boxes. Theyre not here yet and Im sad.
Q. can i get you a corndog as a b-day gift?
A. Just one? Cheapo!
Q. when was the last time you performed?
A. Missionary, Doggie, Scissors and me on the bottom were all performed in one night in November. Im horny.
Q. do you have a strategy?
A. When Im the Allies, its let the Axis have Africa at first. When Im the Axis, its fighting the war on the Western front first.
Q. what are you ashamed of?
A. Ive treated women Ive dated poorly in the past. Mentallynever physically.
Q. what's the last piece of gossip you've heard?
A. I heard that owning windchimes is gay
Q. are you lactose intollerant?
A. No
Q. if you sing, would people crouch in pain or gaze admirably upon you?
A. I have nearly a three octave vocal range while I'm alone, but I choke under pressure. Im usually only good for backing vocals. Soprobably pain.
Q. what do you think of men who dance in ballets?
A. I think that it takes a lot of talent to be a professional ballet dancer, male or female. I admire all the arts and the artists that dedicate their lives to them. I also think theyre homos.
Q. gummy bears or caramel apples?
A. Gummy Bears
Q. orange juice or cranberry juice?
A. I like both but having to choose just one.Cranberry. I used to like to pretend it was wine as a kid. I also get fierce yeast infections in my mangina.
Q. frosted shredded wheat or honey nut shredded wheat?
A. Frosted
Q. do you have a mentor? if so, who is it? what does s/he mentor you in?
A. I dont really have one that I am in contact with often. There is a gentleman who is a professional musician that I email back and forth with though. I admire his taste in the arts and look up to him to some degree.
Q. have you ever lost the remote?
A. Probably but not that I can recall. Im not messy and I keep my remotes in the same spot usually
Q. are you going to record that a&e special?
A. Nope. I hope I get to see it as it airs.
Q. Would you be so hot if you weren't dead?
A. No. Being dead is the ultimate in hotness. Chicks dig Goth.
Q. where do i send the male *scratches out male* female stripper?
A. Claytonand hurry
Q. can i borrow your cufflinks?
A. Mi cufflinks es tu cufflinks
Q. What is your favorite movie line?
A. This is my boomstick! - Ash
Q. What is your favorite sound?
A. Traffic sounds as I fall asleep, rain on a tin roof, when my cats meow, a sexual moan or whimper, turn signals in old cars, the first note I play on my upright bass on any given day, a female with a slight southern drawlso many.
Q. Assume for a moment that god exists. What would you like God to say to you when you get to Heaven?
A. Im taking off for a bit. Youre in charge.
Q. Have you ever killed a man just to watch him die?
A. Only in Reno
Q. are you easily confused?
A. The platypus has no nipples and secretes milk for its young through pores.
Q. if california fell off and sank, where would you move to?
A. I would bury myself in Uranus
Q. if you could have one person on SG put to death, who would it be?
A. DeadlyEye. I HATE him.
Q. will you marry me?
A. As soon as I get you to sign that pre-nup. Im gonna be rich someday.
Q. what do you want for your birthday that you know you won't get?
A. A blow job. OR for someone with internet search skills to track down, buy, and mail me the book El Animal Que Todos Llevamos Dentro by Leo Masliah OR The Aqua Teen Hunger Force DVD box set.
Q. do you get to pick special birthday dinner food? if yes, what did you pick?
A. Nope. I got a Philly cheesesteak for lunch though (I was bad
)
Q. are you wearing your birthday suit?
A. Not right now. Im naked. My birthday suit is at the cleaners.
Q. white meat or dark meat?
A. White meat
Q. favorite foriegn film?
A. Its a tie between Black Cat, White Cat, Stroszek, Stalingrad, Seven Samurai, La Strada, & Simon Of The Desert
Q. how many times have you been in love?
A. Three times
Q. what's your middle name?
A. Edward
Q. can you drive a motorcycle?
A. No
Q. have you ever tried to stop smoking?
A. Yes. Im just not a quitter
Q. do you want some ice cream?
A. Im not a big ice cream fan. Depends on what kind.
Q. who is your favorite SG member? (besides evilwillow)
A. I have so many for many different reasons. I wont pick just one.
Q. why did you join SG?
A. I was horny one night and I caved. I was frustrated cause I wanted to beat off to a punk chick. I joined for a month and Im still here 13 months later.
Q. has your ass healed yet from 1Lunatic?
A. No. He keeps it in a constant state of sexual disrepair. I
him for that.
Q. did you go to your high school prom?
A. Yes, and I went to another high schools prom the very next day.
Q. what's the weather like?
A. Here? Mid 70s partly cloudy
Q. do you have any pet peeves?
A. I dont like liars (with the intent to hurt or hide info), flakes, people who are late constantly, broken promises, or cheaters.
Q. paper or plastic?
A. I never ask for a bag unless I need one. If I do need one, I really dont care what kind.
Q. do you have a life philosophy?
A. W.W.J.D.?
Q. what is your biggest regret?
A. Not going to a certain funeral
Q. what is your biggest accomplishment?
A. I dunnoI havent been arrested yet, I lost my virginity, I headlined the Whiskey A-Go-Go on a weekend night.
Q. righty or lefty?
A. If the girl in the porn looks like a whore, then my right hand. If she looks nave, then my left. Im right handedfigure it out.
Q. anyone ever sent you flowers?
A. No. Never
Q. what is in your refrigerator right now?
A. 7-Up, Gatorade, old condiments, half a Subway sammich, leftover pizza
Q. are you allergic to anything?
A. Nope
Q. do you like soup?
A. I love soup especially the minestrone from Westlake Joes in Westlake, Ca.
Q. what would you do if you were omnipotent for a day?
A. Ask myself a bunch of astronomy questions
Q. would you like to be immortal?
A. Only if I could choose to die when I got bored.
Q. Do you have a girlfriend?
A. evilwillow
Q. If yes do you pretend to care about her feelings or do you actually care about her feelings?
A. Of course I careunless Im REAL horny.
Q. Have you ever called a girl honey, snookums or tootsie?
A. Yesalways have and always will
Q. Have you ever ditched a girl to smoke weed or to get drunk?
A. Maybe to drink with the guys but all the girls Ive dated have always been welcome with my guy friends. I dont smoke pot.
Q. Have you ever walked away from a girlfriend while she was talking to you?
A. Once and she threw a beer bottle at me and it sliced my ankle open.
Q. Have you ever told a crying girl to shut up?
A. No. Crying melts whatever anger I may have. Wellmaybe my sister when I was younger
Q. Have you ever lifted a finger to save the rainforest?
A. Nope
Q. Have you ever tried to save a wounded bird?
A. Yeah
Q. Do you own an alley maggot? (translation: alley cat)
A. Yep.
Q. Have you ever spared any animals because they were cute?
A. Spared from what? I dont hunt them or kill them for pleasure.
Q. Do you think hunting is wrong?
A. Only when Native Americans do it for food, clothing, or shelter.
Q. Do you consider yourself an ethnic minority?
A. I do not
Q. Do you get pissed when someone makes a joke about your heritage?
A. Not at all.
Q. How do you feel when someone says the word fag?
A. If its in jest I laugh if its not I usually ignore it. I could care less what people utter and I dont get on a box and bitch about peoples language
Q. Do you find retards hilarious?
A. No.my uncle is retarded. I do laugh at retarded joke if theyre funny and I do call people retard now and again though
Q. Have you ever laughed at a midget?
A. How could I not?!
Q. Did the dead girl in the closet from THE RING make you jump?
A. Never seen it
Q. Do you play rugby?
A. No
Q. Have you ever taken a yoga class?
A. No
Q. what does being good get you?
A. A date with Linz?
Q. So why did you decide to shave your beard?
A. It itched and I needed to make a symbolic change in my life
Q. What was the sexiest year?
A. 1945 when the American GIs returned from Europe.
Q. I don't have any good questions, can you suggest one?
A. Yes. How about What was the sexiest year? ?
Q. are we there yet?
A. I dont think so but Im not sure where we were going.
Damnthat took forever. Ill never do this again.
VIEW 25 of 60 COMMENTS
Mean boy.