It’s 2020 and only two moths in, already mentally and physically drained myself.
The jokes on me it seems, every small step of happiness seems to be pushed back by another mental break or heart break or stupid thing I said when my brain was on fire. Truthfully my brain seems to always be on fire, angry fire, sad fire, overthinking fire. Self made black holes sucking my brain in and never letting me out. I’ve already set too many things on fire this year. The hope of new is gone and the hopelessness of everything is all I feel.
this is just the ramblings of a sad mind. Tired and lonely. Angry at the world for never giving me anything beautiful for longer than a moment... just enough to taste and love but never long enough to really feel the joy it should bring. It leaves and I’m hurt. Over and over and over it seems to go. Samples of what happiness is and then it’s gone.
I’m too tired of this.
