quick update:
i had a date last night which ended up being a "I have a guilty conscience that i need to clear up...I'm sorry... you're really cool... you didn't deserve that... let's not let it end like that... we should hang out sometime" date.
lame
i'm sick of hearing that "i'm cool" or "i want to be your firend" from stupid boys who don't really get it, or me.
i suppose this is all because i'm very casual about things. i'm not a mushy romantic. i don't want to be just a friend. i want to be someone special.
SO, in conclusion. don't fuck me and not call, and then appologise for not calling but just want to be friends.
is it too much to ask for a mutual respect and enjoyment in things without getting all romantic? i just want a friend who enjoys having sex with me and who won't either
a: end up in a relationship with one of my good friends
b: tell me that i'm "too good of a friend to continue having sex with"
c: tell me "not to look so disappointed" when i don't get off during sex or i "will end up being that girl who never gets a second call"
d: tell me "you're the coolest girl ever" after knowing me for a total of like 3 hours. it's not true. you're just making really hard expectations for me to live up to. you don't even know me. don't say that shit.
i guess this ended up being a longer post than i had first inteded. just some shit that i can't stop thinking about. i'm starting to think that the relationship i want is not possible.
time to be productive. keep lovin everyone.
editted because i haven't been productive and i wanted to put this on my journal cause i'm really good at procrastinating, and you should join me in it.
FIRSTS:
1. First concert: destiny's child at the houston rodeo(sad, i know. but it was free, and i love the food at the rodeo. funnel cake... mmm...)
2. First car: 2000 silver firebird. stick. damn i miss that car.
3. First real kiss: real? i don't know. my first open mouth kiss was forced upon me by my pushy friends, and then laughed at. boo.
4. First screen name: csoup84. and still is.
5. First self purchased album: hmm... this is tough... tape: wierd al: the food album
6. First funeral: my friends dad while i was in jr. high. i wasn't allowed to go to my grandpa's funeral
7. First pet: dog named Woodie
8. First piercing/tattoos: piercing-ears/tattoo-"act well your part, there all the honor lies" wrapping around my wrist
9. First credit card: american express. my parents paid
10. First enemy: candice baccus (elementary school, i was jealous)
11. First big trip: big? none really. i do fly a lot, but i've never been out of the country... loser...
12. First music you remember hearing in your house: classical, frank sinatra, willy nelson, simon and garfunkle
LASTS:
1. Last cigarette:right now
3. Last kiss: May somethingth. now he's with one of my good friends. yay
4. Last good cry: last night
5. Last library book checked out: about a month ago
6. Last movie seen in theatre: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
7. Last beverage drank: Dr. Pepper
9. Last crush: surprisingly tough question...everyone? no one? i don't know. i'm too bitter for this question
10. Last phone call: last night with a guy with a guilty conscience
12. Last shoes worn: flip flops
13. Last item bought: a burrioto
14. Last annoyance: boys
15. Last time wanting to die: hmm... like three years ago when i thought life was SO hard.
16. Who are your best friends: hmm... tough...i'd have to say QwertyGirl first cause really when i have problems i normally turn to her first. eventhough she's a loser and not here now.
SPECIFICS:
1. Do you do drugs: some
2. What kind of shampoo do you use: dove
3. What are you most scared of: commitment, rejection, hurting others
4. Where do you want to get married: outside
5. What are you listening to right now: Weezer
6. How many buddies are online: only one worth talking to
7. What would you change about yourself: stop worrying about others so much
FAVORITES:
1. Colors: blue and purple
2. Foods: cheese pizza and everything bagels toasted with cream cheese. atleast that's what i eat the most of
3. Girl names: i like mine
4. Boys names: boys are stupid
5. Subject in school: drama: theatre design
6. Animals: any baby animals
7. Sports: wwe, frisbee, baseball,
8. Perfume: very sexy for her 2, or paradise
9. Cologne: curve for men
HAVE YOU EVER:
1. Given anyone a bath: Y
2. Smoked Cigs: Y
3. Bungee jumped:N
4. Made yourself throw-up: Y
5. Skinny dipped: Y
6. Been in love: Y
7. Made yourself cry to get out of trouble: N, i cry really easily. no need to make it happen
8. Pictured your crush naked: Y
9. Seen your crush naked: Y
10. Cried when someone died: Y
11. Lied: Y
12. Fallen for someone: Y
13. Been rejected: Y
14. Rejected someone: Y
15. Used someone: Y
16. Done something you regret: not yet.
CURRENT:
1. Clothes: dare shirt, jeans
2. Music: Keep Fishin
3. Make-up: foundation, mascara, chapstick
4. Annoyance: unknown
5. Smell: outside... mmm...
6. Favorite artist: dali
8. Book your reading: choke, again...
9. Cd in player: none
ARE YOU:
1. Understanding: Y
2. Open-minded: Y
3. Arrogant: hopefully not
4. Insecure: sometimes
5. Interesting: sure
6. Hungry: not quite yet
7. Smart: sure
9. Hardworking: when i want something enough
10. Organized: i know where to find everything, does that count?
11. Healthy: hmm... not really
12. Shy: sometimes
13. Attractive: yeah
14. Bored easily: definately
15. Responsible: for the most part
16. Obsessed: clothes. internet. email checking.
17. Angry: just bitter
18. Sad: kinda
19. Disappointed: for sure
20. Happy: overall i suppose so
21. Hyper: not really
23. Talkative: eh, not really
WHO DO YOU WANNA:
1. Kill: happy couples... no offense, i'm just bitter
2. Get high with: my friend katie
3. Talk to offline: talking is overrated
RANDOM:
1. In the morning I am: not social
2. Love is: extinct
3. Music is: what connects us all. it puts the bounce in my step. feeds our souls.
i had a date last night which ended up being a "I have a guilty conscience that i need to clear up...I'm sorry... you're really cool... you didn't deserve that... let's not let it end like that... we should hang out sometime" date.
lame
i'm sick of hearing that "i'm cool" or "i want to be your firend" from stupid boys who don't really get it, or me.
i suppose this is all because i'm very casual about things. i'm not a mushy romantic. i don't want to be just a friend. i want to be someone special.
SO, in conclusion. don't fuck me and not call, and then appologise for not calling but just want to be friends.
is it too much to ask for a mutual respect and enjoyment in things without getting all romantic? i just want a friend who enjoys having sex with me and who won't either
a: end up in a relationship with one of my good friends
b: tell me that i'm "too good of a friend to continue having sex with"
c: tell me "not to look so disappointed" when i don't get off during sex or i "will end up being that girl who never gets a second call"
d: tell me "you're the coolest girl ever" after knowing me for a total of like 3 hours. it's not true. you're just making really hard expectations for me to live up to. you don't even know me. don't say that shit.
i guess this ended up being a longer post than i had first inteded. just some shit that i can't stop thinking about. i'm starting to think that the relationship i want is not possible.
time to be productive. keep lovin everyone.
editted because i haven't been productive and i wanted to put this on my journal cause i'm really good at procrastinating, and you should join me in it.
FIRSTS:
1. First concert: destiny's child at the houston rodeo(sad, i know. but it was free, and i love the food at the rodeo. funnel cake... mmm...)
2. First car: 2000 silver firebird. stick. damn i miss that car.
3. First real kiss: real? i don't know. my first open mouth kiss was forced upon me by my pushy friends, and then laughed at. boo.
4. First screen name: csoup84. and still is.
5. First self purchased album: hmm... this is tough... tape: wierd al: the food album
6. First funeral: my friends dad while i was in jr. high. i wasn't allowed to go to my grandpa's funeral
7. First pet: dog named Woodie
8. First piercing/tattoos: piercing-ears/tattoo-"act well your part, there all the honor lies" wrapping around my wrist
9. First credit card: american express. my parents paid
10. First enemy: candice baccus (elementary school, i was jealous)
11. First big trip: big? none really. i do fly a lot, but i've never been out of the country... loser...
12. First music you remember hearing in your house: classical, frank sinatra, willy nelson, simon and garfunkle
LASTS:
1. Last cigarette:right now
3. Last kiss: May somethingth. now he's with one of my good friends. yay
4. Last good cry: last night
5. Last library book checked out: about a month ago
6. Last movie seen in theatre: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
7. Last beverage drank: Dr. Pepper
9. Last crush: surprisingly tough question...everyone? no one? i don't know. i'm too bitter for this question
10. Last phone call: last night with a guy with a guilty conscience
12. Last shoes worn: flip flops
13. Last item bought: a burrioto
14. Last annoyance: boys
15. Last time wanting to die: hmm... like three years ago when i thought life was SO hard.
16. Who are your best friends: hmm... tough...i'd have to say QwertyGirl first cause really when i have problems i normally turn to her first. eventhough she's a loser and not here now.
SPECIFICS:
1. Do you do drugs: some
2. What kind of shampoo do you use: dove
3. What are you most scared of: commitment, rejection, hurting others
4. Where do you want to get married: outside
5. What are you listening to right now: Weezer
6. How many buddies are online: only one worth talking to
7. What would you change about yourself: stop worrying about others so much
FAVORITES:
1. Colors: blue and purple
2. Foods: cheese pizza and everything bagels toasted with cream cheese. atleast that's what i eat the most of
3. Girl names: i like mine
4. Boys names: boys are stupid
5. Subject in school: drama: theatre design
6. Animals: any baby animals
7. Sports: wwe, frisbee, baseball,
8. Perfume: very sexy for her 2, or paradise
9. Cologne: curve for men
HAVE YOU EVER:
1. Given anyone a bath: Y
2. Smoked Cigs: Y
3. Bungee jumped:N
4. Made yourself throw-up: Y
5. Skinny dipped: Y
6. Been in love: Y
7. Made yourself cry to get out of trouble: N, i cry really easily. no need to make it happen
8. Pictured your crush naked: Y
9. Seen your crush naked: Y
10. Cried when someone died: Y
11. Lied: Y
12. Fallen for someone: Y
13. Been rejected: Y
14. Rejected someone: Y
15. Used someone: Y
16. Done something you regret: not yet.
CURRENT:
1. Clothes: dare shirt, jeans
2. Music: Keep Fishin
3. Make-up: foundation, mascara, chapstick
4. Annoyance: unknown
5. Smell: outside... mmm...
6. Favorite artist: dali
8. Book your reading: choke, again...
9. Cd in player: none
ARE YOU:
1. Understanding: Y
2. Open-minded: Y
3. Arrogant: hopefully not
4. Insecure: sometimes
5. Interesting: sure
6. Hungry: not quite yet
7. Smart: sure
9. Hardworking: when i want something enough
10. Organized: i know where to find everything, does that count?
11. Healthy: hmm... not really
12. Shy: sometimes
13. Attractive: yeah
14. Bored easily: definately
15. Responsible: for the most part
16. Obsessed: clothes. internet. email checking.
17. Angry: just bitter
18. Sad: kinda
19. Disappointed: for sure
20. Happy: overall i suppose so
21. Hyper: not really
23. Talkative: eh, not really
WHO DO YOU WANNA:
1. Kill: happy couples... no offense, i'm just bitter
2. Get high with: my friend katie
3. Talk to offline: talking is overrated
RANDOM:
1. In the morning I am: not social
2. Love is: extinct
3. Music is: what connects us all. it puts the bounce in my step. feeds our souls.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
ampersandwich:
thanks for the hair tips, and youre right, my hair too grows like a weed, so it never can stay the way its been cut!
fotojenyk:
ohhhh