There are inherent dichotomies when one is a dominant approaching a new person, more so when they may become a new sub. Vanillas are fine, often quite fun as many like the tease of kink without the actual experience of the full ride, and I do like to tease,...
But for me, the yin to the yang comes out when I find someone that wants that ride. Those rare few that are willing to surrender control, and with full knowledge and consent, give me leave to do as I will with them.
I genuinely do not want to hurt anyone. Yet, that statement is and is not true, because I will go dark places in pursuit of my submissives pleasure. I don't want to do anything that does not bring them pleasure, for that is what brings me pleasure. However, those things may, in fact, "hurt". A lot.
I don't want to cause any lasting pain, but an ache that may cause exquisite sensory recall, hours after a scene,...
I don't want to mark anyone, but sometimes that glimpse of a ligature mark, or a bruise, maybe a scratch that brings visual flashes that make them smile,...
I don't want to torment anyone, but tantalizing, tickling, teasing,... Driving them to the edge of sanity before tearing down the remnants of their self control and letting it all come crashing out of them with a scream, leaving them a shuddering puddle of nerves,...
Delicious!
So. For me, there is a definite difference between hurt and harm. Lasting damage and lingering sensations. Submission, and permission. The dichotomy of being dominant, but respectful of those that give me themselves in ways that would be so easy to abuse.
But that's just me, we all have our own path to follow.