fredricka

I walked through the bleak morning sunlight yesterday, to the policlinic where I had an appointment with my psychiatrist. And when I sat there in his tiny office he finally brought up my diagnose with me, including all the other diagnoses I've had that I did'nt know of. I've appearently been diagnosed with postpartum psychosis way back when I first fell ill, then with schizotypal disorder, then with acute shizofrenia-like pychosis disorder and finally with schizofrenia. I've never believed in the schizofrenia diagnose. I simply feel all too high-functioning, but then I've always been told that not being able to see oneself as sick is just another symptom of this disease. Yesterday my psychiatrist told me that he might want to go back to the schizotypal diagnose now that he's observed me for some time and that the reason why I were given the schizofrenia diagnose in the first place might be because I also had those so-called acute schizofrenia-like psychotic episodes on top of the schizotypal symptoms

I'm glad. Confused, but glad. Not that it really changes anything. I still have to treated the same way I do now, with drugs and therapy. But it kinda proves I'm the one who knows myself best after all. I knew I did'nt have schizofrenia. Besides,a schizotypal diagnose is something I can accept. It's regarded by some as a milder form of schizofrenia and I can recognize myself in some of the diagnose criterias for it. Not all of them, but some at least.

Edited to add: I just read to the whole entry and discovered that I'm already talking as if schizotypal is my official diagnose. It's not.