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fred

the hidden dimension of bad metaphors

Member Since 2002

Followers 87 Following 280

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Sunday Nov 29, 2009

Nov 29, 2009
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Ugh...

I'm in an awfully bum-kicked state of mind.

That last post over 3 months ago was the beginning of the end of a relationship I was in for about a year.
It was a real whirlwind. In fact it was just too much too fast.

I'm in a different phase now that time has gone and the initial relief is gone.
It's a cold, lonely place now, and it hurts.
Well, it's all my doing so I can't complain. The same problems I had before it all began are still here staring me in the face even though I try not to look.

I know she spent thanksgiving with a new "friend" and it hit me like a delayed ton of bricks.
Now I keep thinking about all the good times we had.
Everything feels so empty and barren and painful.

It's not exactly regret, it's just a bitter taste knowing that something that's so beautiful was so also so flawed that it couldn't work.
I'm weak right now. I need to rebuild.

VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
serpentworship:
Hey there man.. been awhile! Sorry to read about the end of the relationship, but perhaps this'll be the start of a new era for you.

No new girlfriend just yet, but I do have a new girl friend with whom I've been doing quite a bit of hanging out.

Indeed, Portland is great. I was there for a week in late September of this year and I wish I could have stayed so much longer.

Things going ok outside of the relation termination?
Dec 6, 2009
lensturtle420:
Ha, that's mental. My last Girlfriend was Annie, but the one before that was Jenny. They both left me because they couldn't cope with my health issues, even though I never needed looking after. Oh well...there must be better to come. I have faith in the Universe (hence being an Ordained Minister!).
As for Temple 420, well I am very good friends with Craig X and I claim it as my Ministry. I'm looking into starting a UK version, but I have to look into the law first. I spoke to him last week after his most recent trial and that was thrown out as the cahrges were total bullshit, but Craig is still facing Jail in January for the Temple, and to be honest my health would not cope with jail so i have to be very careful. Having said that, we are all confident he will be free as they have no real case against him at this point, it all comes down to the Beverly Hills Green Cross which is entirely legal. They are just picking on him because of his profile.

Good to know you Fred. Sorry things have not worked out with your last relationship, but you appear to have a good perspective on it. I'm just convincing myself that I deserve better (which I do - someone who will love me despite my health issues is definately something better!).
Dec 7, 2009

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