The dreaded hangover update.
Not that bad, but bad enough to mention.
It's right now that I really recognize how this interferes with appreciating things that I should be able to appreciate more, instead of wanting to crawl into a burrow and hide from the world.
Well, at least I wasn't the drunkest person in the group. And I have a fairly continuous memory of everything. I didn't throw up, crash my car or make a complete ass of myself.
My problem is I turn into a guzzler. At times I can be a sipper, content with a single beer. That's when I have an appreciation of subtlety. If I go to a bar in a group where I feel tension, which is often, it's like I lose my brakes.
Like I've mentioned before I'm stepping back to previous stages of my history. Last night it began with the idea of seeing things with a new perspective. It ended up being like a trapdoor to stupidity.
"Hey I've been here before... duh"
As I rummage through the idiocy of yesteryear perhaps I'll find some sort of souvenir to keep and polish off. Shall I renovate the slums, turning into some new configuration and hope the neighborhood turns around? Or maybe I'll just decide to board it up for good and condemn the filth for what it is.
Lameness - the hideous bloated beast that must be slain.
Compulsion - the iron bounds taunting our eyes, holding dominion away.
And then there is I, the center of this story, exchanging inner vision for external verification.
Investigating the blueprint. Paying in time. Each moment of now stretching into tommorow, bleeding into yesterday.
See. It's cool to make your neuroses into an epic adventure. It makes a lot easier to take. Imagine if Luke Skywalker just moped around all day watching TV because he was depressed that his father was the evil emperor out to destroy all that is good.
That's no fun.
What if Conan, when he was enslaved and made to turn a that wheel-thing, just laid there and said, "eh.. this is hard".
What if the count of montecristo when he was unjustly imprisoned just thought to himself, "whatever..."
Make it your quest, your project, your creation. If you're totally in a crappy position, all the better! Now you're the plucky underdog.Turn the failure of today on its ass and make it the redemption of tommorow.
How you experience life is how you see it. How you see it is under your power, to a degree. So basically we're all magicians making our own reality up.
Speaking from a male point of view. This is what how it should be. You feel this immense rush of power emanating from your testicles that makes you go, "Yeah! Fuck yeah!" And then go out and do something. You make things happen. Subscribe to that. Eat from that buffet.
Wow. I was going to take a recovery nap, but this got me so charged I don't even want to now.
It does sound kind of... "jock"-like. Or some kind of cheesy Anthony Robbins kind of thing. Don't be prejudiced against cheesy though, without examing why it's cheesy and why it's bad to be cheesy like that.
And as for jocks, they often end up successful and confident, even though may be stupid assholes.
So the trick is -- use the power of being a jock, but don't be a stupid asshole. Also, reconsider the essence of cheese.
That's my answer to life, for now at least.
Not that bad, but bad enough to mention.
It's right now that I really recognize how this interferes with appreciating things that I should be able to appreciate more, instead of wanting to crawl into a burrow and hide from the world.
Well, at least I wasn't the drunkest person in the group. And I have a fairly continuous memory of everything. I didn't throw up, crash my car or make a complete ass of myself.
My problem is I turn into a guzzler. At times I can be a sipper, content with a single beer. That's when I have an appreciation of subtlety. If I go to a bar in a group where I feel tension, which is often, it's like I lose my brakes.
Like I've mentioned before I'm stepping back to previous stages of my history. Last night it began with the idea of seeing things with a new perspective. It ended up being like a trapdoor to stupidity.
"Hey I've been here before... duh"
As I rummage through the idiocy of yesteryear perhaps I'll find some sort of souvenir to keep and polish off. Shall I renovate the slums, turning into some new configuration and hope the neighborhood turns around? Or maybe I'll just decide to board it up for good and condemn the filth for what it is.
Lameness - the hideous bloated beast that must be slain.
Compulsion - the iron bounds taunting our eyes, holding dominion away.
And then there is I, the center of this story, exchanging inner vision for external verification.
Investigating the blueprint. Paying in time. Each moment of now stretching into tommorow, bleeding into yesterday.
See. It's cool to make your neuroses into an epic adventure. It makes a lot easier to take. Imagine if Luke Skywalker just moped around all day watching TV because he was depressed that his father was the evil emperor out to destroy all that is good.
That's no fun.
What if Conan, when he was enslaved and made to turn a that wheel-thing, just laid there and said, "eh.. this is hard".
What if the count of montecristo when he was unjustly imprisoned just thought to himself, "whatever..."
Make it your quest, your project, your creation. If you're totally in a crappy position, all the better! Now you're the plucky underdog.Turn the failure of today on its ass and make it the redemption of tommorow.
How you experience life is how you see it. How you see it is under your power, to a degree. So basically we're all magicians making our own reality up.
Speaking from a male point of view. This is what how it should be. You feel this immense rush of power emanating from your testicles that makes you go, "Yeah! Fuck yeah!" And then go out and do something. You make things happen. Subscribe to that. Eat from that buffet.
Wow. I was going to take a recovery nap, but this got me so charged I don't even want to now.
It does sound kind of... "jock"-like. Or some kind of cheesy Anthony Robbins kind of thing. Don't be prejudiced against cheesy though, without examing why it's cheesy and why it's bad to be cheesy like that.
And as for jocks, they often end up successful and confident, even though may be stupid assholes.
So the trick is -- use the power of being a jock, but don't be a stupid asshole. Also, reconsider the essence of cheese.
That's my answer to life, for now at least.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
I am not a huge drinker, as I can normally control it, but it seems very true that being uncomfortable leads to more drinking...and as this was a bit of a weekend for me...the tremors continue....
on the bright side, at least I can shake quite a Martini....