frauunicorn

I just saw The Tourist, it was surprisingly funny. I was insulted in an offhand way by this young guy who was trying to talk to me but it still hurts. The things said to or about me the most often are: you look like you're going to cry & you should smile. Every time I leave the house I'm terrified and I want to cry. That's stopped me from having as much fun or living as much as I should have at this point in my life. I know a lot of things that I know I should change but I can;t seem to find the inner strength to do it. That's what keeps my face grim & eyes downcast. I bounce from feeling perfectly "normal" and I can go from point a to b without panicking and wanting to cry and other times I just don't leave the house. Which leaves me at home alone feeling worse than ever because it's so lonely and secluded and its doubly upsetting because im acutely aware that its all self inflicted. Sleeping now, mechanic in the am, then I've got work all day x two days until my day off.