well as i sit her about to write this journal (fine blog whatever STFU LOL ROLF OMG!!!!111, ahem)im stuck with a problem, Im drinking a nescafe caramel coffe, but it isnt all i hoped for. But i think i may of fucked it up. You see i had a problem, sugar or no sugar? I mean its coffee so it needs the right coffee sugar mix but its caramel which is sweet as you all know so i think i made it too sweet. But then if i hadnt added the sugar would it of been worse? And i cant go half way and only put one sugar in i mean come on, you might as well make no effort at all. im just gonna drink coffee all night and see i think.
So as im in a random mood ill talk even more crap but first.
I FUCKING PASSED THAT MANAGEMENT EXAM! ONE YEAR OFHELL OVER!
and the other 2 with me failed, oh dear oh dear for them.
so the other night at work was along one so long me and a friend were trying to come up for a sequal for snakes on a plane (face it, its gonna happen) there were too many to name but here are the best ones i came up with (i say best there still shit)
1)Monkeys on a car. This one is simple. Our hero has evidence about a drug crime lord and there evil plans and has to drive from brazil to america. On the way he gets lost and ends up in one of those drive thru safari parks, when he ends up in the monkey enclosure (all really masterminded by the evil drug lord dude of course) then in an amazng but pitifuly predictable moment the monkeys all jump on the car pulling the wipers off etc etc when suddenly the little monkey bastards steal the hub caps off the car! which is where the secret evidence is hidden! (OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!11) Our (lame ass) hero must fight the monkeys and get the evidence back, and fuck some love interest in between fighting the monkeys then going on to nuke the drug lord, Because there has to be a sex scene in the fucking movie between the star and some really fit girl that non of us are going to get to see or hump, but hope we can at least see a fucking nipple. moving on....
2) Hedgehogs in a rollerskate- fuck yeah why not?
3) gorilaz on a mist. Yep floating killer gorillaz! why not?
4) Brontosaurus's on a golf kart. This has real potential, now i see theres a problem with it. Brontosaurus's are herbivores, I can see where your going, but come on even a giant plant eating dinosaur must really want a steak once in a while? leaves are fucking boring! and Mr L jackson plays golf right?
5)snakes up a plane - the porno version
6) Snakes up a dane - The animal farm style porn version
Actually im ging to stop there on this one. To bring you the exciting tale of.
Crappy knackered samsung D600 vs the world.
Long story short, im crap with phones i always drop them and i find them fun to throw when drunk. And the thing was beginning to annoy me as i was using it mainly for the mp3 part and the headfone socket was playing up, but if i wiggled it the sond would work again, but i wiggled it yesterday and something snapped inside (quite loudly too) and now only the loud speaker works not the head phones. So this means i have to pay the 25 on the insurance to get it fixed, (not to mention ive paid for a new one outrighyt in insurance money) but i also would have to pay 25 if it is a 100% fucked lost or stolen, now the last two require too much paper work but the first one i could do so its phone fuck up time. And for a phone that the main function i use it for broke so easy the rest of it was a tough bastard.
Round 1 Crappy d600 vs two flights of stairs at work.
Now these are hard stairs and opps they just fell down from quite a height. Some angry otter floating past made me jump making me throw my phone in the air right by the stairs oh no! Even worse its landed head first with a nice bounce and hit the ground after anothe tripple somersault, but alas the little fucker survived.
Round 2 Crappy d600 vs My england rugby practice kicks
Well put it this way i was wearing my stell toe cap boots and some one switched the ball for my fone and it bounced off the wall, and i dont play rugby, you can tell too, the damn thing survived.
Round 3 Crappy d600 vs secret weapon
So theres not a scratch on the damn thing, ive tried throwing kicking droppind but not washing. And silly me ive got it mixed up with my work shirts in the washing machine! Luckily the battery sim and memory card all fell out just before it went in the washer so there ok. Ha at last we have a winner. As i pull it out the washer the screen is half full of water and i attach the battery, now after 10 moits of vibraiing and the camera light flashing it died. awww still the conversation at the link with the (attractive) lady assitant this morning was funny.
Me Hi ive had an accident with my phone in a kind of washing machine way
assisitant: are you insured
me: yes contract
Assistant:ok well its twenty five pound and bla bla (i lost interest for a momunt as she was talking about the payment and other stuff, all i know was the words "please come for a drink with me" or "run away with me" never were said.)
me
k
Assistant: first we'll send it off see if they can repair it.
Me: Ok will they drain the water out the screen? because i kinda like that affect it would look good with sea monkeys in.
Assistant: Why is the screen wet inside?
(for someone so fit she sure was getting shitty)
Me: Because washing machines usually use water
Assistant: washing machine?
Me: Yes hence when i said "accident with my phone in a kind of washing machine way"
Assistant: How did it end up in there?
Then i did what any man does when asked a question like that, blame the girlfriend which in turn breaks her heart because she knows she now cant have me, ha yes, Two birds on stone!
So it looks like ill be getting a nice voucher of the phones worth in the next week or so, in the mean time i have an amazing nokia 3410, oh yes...
In other news
- New muse album is awesome. Love it, and i swear theres a make out tune in it some where
-Meet the new ferrari P4/5
So as im in a random mood ill talk even more crap but first.
I FUCKING PASSED THAT MANAGEMENT EXAM! ONE YEAR OFHELL OVER!
and the other 2 with me failed, oh dear oh dear for them.
so the other night at work was along one so long me and a friend were trying to come up for a sequal for snakes on a plane (face it, its gonna happen) there were too many to name but here are the best ones i came up with (i say best there still shit)
1)Monkeys on a car. This one is simple. Our hero has evidence about a drug crime lord and there evil plans and has to drive from brazil to america. On the way he gets lost and ends up in one of those drive thru safari parks, when he ends up in the monkey enclosure (all really masterminded by the evil drug lord dude of course) then in an amazng but pitifuly predictable moment the monkeys all jump on the car pulling the wipers off etc etc when suddenly the little monkey bastards steal the hub caps off the car! which is where the secret evidence is hidden! (OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!11) Our (lame ass) hero must fight the monkeys and get the evidence back, and fuck some love interest in between fighting the monkeys then going on to nuke the drug lord, Because there has to be a sex scene in the fucking movie between the star and some really fit girl that non of us are going to get to see or hump, but hope we can at least see a fucking nipple. moving on....
2) Hedgehogs in a rollerskate- fuck yeah why not?
3) gorilaz on a mist. Yep floating killer gorillaz! why not?
4) Brontosaurus's on a golf kart. This has real potential, now i see theres a problem with it. Brontosaurus's are herbivores, I can see where your going, but come on even a giant plant eating dinosaur must really want a steak once in a while? leaves are fucking boring! and Mr L jackson plays golf right?
5)snakes up a plane - the porno version
6) Snakes up a dane - The animal farm style porn version
Actually im ging to stop there on this one. To bring you the exciting tale of.
Crappy knackered samsung D600 vs the world.
Long story short, im crap with phones i always drop them and i find them fun to throw when drunk. And the thing was beginning to annoy me as i was using it mainly for the mp3 part and the headfone socket was playing up, but if i wiggled it the sond would work again, but i wiggled it yesterday and something snapped inside (quite loudly too) and now only the loud speaker works not the head phones. So this means i have to pay the 25 on the insurance to get it fixed, (not to mention ive paid for a new one outrighyt in insurance money) but i also would have to pay 25 if it is a 100% fucked lost or stolen, now the last two require too much paper work but the first one i could do so its phone fuck up time. And for a phone that the main function i use it for broke so easy the rest of it was a tough bastard.
Round 1 Crappy d600 vs two flights of stairs at work.
Now these are hard stairs and opps they just fell down from quite a height. Some angry otter floating past made me jump making me throw my phone in the air right by the stairs oh no! Even worse its landed head first with a nice bounce and hit the ground after anothe tripple somersault, but alas the little fucker survived.
Round 2 Crappy d600 vs My england rugby practice kicks
Well put it this way i was wearing my stell toe cap boots and some one switched the ball for my fone and it bounced off the wall, and i dont play rugby, you can tell too, the damn thing survived.
Round 3 Crappy d600 vs secret weapon
So theres not a scratch on the damn thing, ive tried throwing kicking droppind but not washing. And silly me ive got it mixed up with my work shirts in the washing machine! Luckily the battery sim and memory card all fell out just before it went in the washer so there ok. Ha at last we have a winner. As i pull it out the washer the screen is half full of water and i attach the battery, now after 10 moits of vibraiing and the camera light flashing it died. awww still the conversation at the link with the (attractive) lady assitant this morning was funny.
Me Hi ive had an accident with my phone in a kind of washing machine way
assisitant: are you insured
me: yes contract
Assistant:ok well its twenty five pound and bla bla (i lost interest for a momunt as she was talking about the payment and other stuff, all i know was the words "please come for a drink with me" or "run away with me" never were said.)
me
k
Assistant: first we'll send it off see if they can repair it.
Me: Ok will they drain the water out the screen? because i kinda like that affect it would look good with sea monkeys in.
Assistant: Why is the screen wet inside?
(for someone so fit she sure was getting shitty)
Me: Because washing machines usually use water
Assistant: washing machine?
Me: Yes hence when i said "accident with my phone in a kind of washing machine way"
Assistant: How did it end up in there?
Then i did what any man does when asked a question like that, blame the girlfriend which in turn breaks her heart because she knows she now cant have me, ha yes, Two birds on stone!
So it looks like ill be getting a nice voucher of the phones worth in the next week or so, in the mean time i have an amazing nokia 3410, oh yes...
In other news
- New muse album is awesome. Love it, and i swear theres a make out tune in it some where
-Meet the new ferrari P4/5
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
Sorry, haven't been around, I've been so so busy. But I'm moving house in 3 weks and then I will have lots more time as it won't take me so long to get to work.
Glad you're okay and your phone is getting fixed/replaced.