frankmask

I feel like shit. My mind is broken. I can't think straight. Sort of. Stupid shit seems reasonable. My reflexes and my balance are fucked. I can't think straight and I'm reverting to bestial and incompetent? behavior. I feel weird. Depressed, digust, diswhateverthefuck. Like, my heads not working. Even though I've had lots of sleep and I'm eating and shit and I'm not tired or anything. I can't be stable. Or something. I don't know.

I don't know what the fuck is going on because I should be all rested and shit and I'm not. I'm just fucked in the head and bloody well nearly insensate. Fucking hell. I need to get laid, and go on vacation, and fall in love, and get like, fucking knighted, or duked, or whatever the fuck they call it when bestowing a hereditary duchy on someone. But like, fucking laid, only probably not because that wouldn't likely do much of shit at all for me right now. But who the fuck knows, maybe I just need more sex in my life to level my shit out. Or something. Fuck if I know. Maybe I just, like, can't fucking deal with this society shit, and I should go out and conquer some motherfuckers and lay down the framework of a modern dystopia. I'd have a ministry of watching you do shit all the time. It'd be great.

Yah. Totally. I feel oppressed in my mind. It's lovely. It's like being in a room full of smoke and trying to breath, only with your head. Fucking wonderful, let me tell you. I have asthma of the brain.

I'm not going to get to go to the fucking Ren faire again because I'm working all goddamned weekend. Fucking hell. YOu know, being responsible sucks because you can't get anyone the fuck else to do the simplest fucking jobs even when it's their fucking duty and responsibility and shit, and they're never fucking around when shit need's to get done so you always have to do it. And they're all 'I've got class, I've got work, I've got some fucking excuse that doesn't get kick in for twenty minutes and until then I'm going to sit right here and watch your morbidly exhausted ass do shit because I'm a fucking lazy ass minnesotan and I don't want to flat out fucking tell you that I'd rather just let you do my shit for me instead of me my shit and not making you lose sleep and shit.'

Fuck. Fucking fucker fuck. Fucking fuck. Fucker. Fucking Fuck. Bunny. Bunny fuck.

I'm going to set the whole god damned world on fire and burn it to the fucking ground, break it until no stone stands on stone.

Fuck that, you know why I'm letting these fuckers use me? Because I, personally, me, I want to build this shit. I don't want it to die. I don't want it to go away. Even if I have to fucking kill myself to hold it together all by my damned self I still want to save it. If I don't fucking do it know It dies, and if I wait on someone else to do it it dies, and if I try to get someone else to do it they won't and it dies. There are only like, two people I can fucking trust about this shit. Fucking fucker fucking fuck fucker fuck. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck.

I need, like, sushi. And fucking my truck fixed so I can drive. And someone to just fucking hold me and shit, as ridiculously silly as that fucking sounds I need a big goddamned hug and someone who I can really believe gives a shit. And shit. and fuck. Fucking fuckity fucking fucker fucker. Stab stab stab stab stab stab. Stabbity stab. Burn. Fucker. Stabbity stab burn. Stab burn. Everybody. Everywhere. Motherafuckers.

I need a girlfriend who is at least as smart and mentally agile as I am, and about as liberally nuts. I need professors who are at least half as smart as I am and decent teachers who know how to fucking communicate knowledge in a useful fashion. I need my friends to shape the fuck up and stop being useless deadbeat assholes. I need about a month's vacation. Make that two. I need five billion in capital so I can Start my own fucking island nation and get the fuck away from all this cocked up bullshit. Fuck. And like, a fucking spaceship and shit. And while we're at it I could use a really goddamned nice rapier and a good fucking lawyer and maybe a Djinni. And godlike power, and a fucking milkshake.

I hate this life shit. Totally fucking fucked up.

Fuck. Live it. Love it.

9:01 AM Sept. 22

I made Tea last night. One of the principal ingredients is Habenero pepper, fresh. It cures depression, posession, and possibly wakes the dead.