Things I would like in this theoretical relationship that I would some day like to find.
Intimacy. Like hugging and kissing and the holding of hands. And all the other things that go with that, but on the surface of it all I need more hugs, and more of the kind that last for half an hour, the not just friends kind.
I'd also like to be able to speak candidly and express things the way I perceive and understand them in my mind without having to run them through the 'make this make sense to other people and pull out the bits that would make it seem crazy or frightening' filter. Just say what I think as I think it.
Sex, but not one night stand sex. Comfortable sex. Positive sex. Giggling and expirementing and just hanging out with someone whose company you really genuinely enjoy sex.
Someone I can really talk to. Someone I can banter with. Throw quips and nonsense and inside jokes back and forth with. I'd like all of that, some day. Perferably some day soon, but I'm willing to be patient and wait if I really have to.
Eitherway, current events! Went to the Luce' block party, saw Har Mar Superstar. He is the sexiest little round man I've ever seen in my life. Anyone who doesn't believe that you can be sexy by dint of confidence and a good attitude should check this guy out.
Ended up over at Judas's place talking and generally hanging out with the various denizens of SGTC and their friends and loved ones. A very enjoyable time, and kudos to the excellent hostess whose real name I shall endevour to youse in lieu of her internet handle.
And now I'm back home contemplating where I'm going to get henna for the next weiner roast... And wondering if I'll be in town for the next weiner roast. Damn. I'll be needing to check if there is a scheduling conflict there.
One of the things I love about henna is that the person you're working on is more or less a captive audience and applying henna is a great way to just sit down and get to know someone.
So the spynet linked me up to the various 'I'm disillusioned/angry with SG and want to talk about it' boards floating around the internet. I browsed through some of them and it really wasn't what I was expecting. It seems like a lot of it is just people being catty for the sake of it. I didn't see anything resembling an organized statement of grievances, just a lot of complaining about people being people.
SG has a lot of practices I don't approve of, make no mistake. To my thinking they've made an incomplete jump from a small niche company to a large corporate entity. The problem lies in that they haven't adopted uniform and transparent corporate policies to match their business model.
Basically, they're running a big business, for profit, but the policies they use to police their forums and members are still largely arbitrary. They are also run personally by folks at the highest levels of the managment which can make it difficult to be objective.
I wouldn't mind seeing a nice set of policies and rules that are clearly explained and fairly easy to understand regarding forum conduct, situations by which members would be banned, etc. etc. The FAQ is nice but it still leaves a lot in the dark. To me this creates a kind of big brother fear when people are zotted for reasons that aren't entirely clear or seem to stem entirely from personal politics. Members don't know where the line is and given the way the boards, members, and girls tend to fall into heirarchies of 'power', for lack of a better term, it often seems that a statement from one person will result in a zot or at least shunning from the community whereas the same statement from another person would be met with widespread approval.
It's all people, though. People are people, they do what people do. SG is still in a lot of ways a small company. The staff is tiny and deals with the site in a very personal way.
So eitherway, I still like SG. I like the people here, I love the community. The 'porn' thing is still cool, even if I hardly ever look at the sets anymore.
Side note on the 'porn' issue. I think porn is in the mind of the individual. If you look at it and see art then it is art. If you look at it and see porn, so be it, for you it is porn. I look at it and see a highly eroticized art form that expresses human beauty and sexuality. the word 'Porn' feels, to me, like something pre-packaged and processed. Porn is the Mcfood of pictures of people. It's supposed to be disposable and you're not supposed to think about it to hard, or you'll start to realize that they ingrediants are very wholesome. Playboy is 'porn' because the women in playboy are all identical airbrush automata. They could just CG the girls in and slap on a fake biography, no one would know the difference. SG isn't 'porn' because the girls in the pictures continue to exist once the camera looks away.
Back to the topic, I like SG. I think it does what it does better than anyone else in it's little industry. I don't always agree with what the powers that be do, and I don't like some of their practices, but so be it. I'd rather stick with it and try to positively influence a phenomena that I love than go off and complain about it to the void. I think the folks who complain about 'change' and the folks who snidely reply 'change happens' tend to forget that they are part of the change and can influence it's course simply by how they communicate with the other people in the community. Be nice. Be positive. Be respectful. Offer new people an example of good conduct, chastize the folks who are being disrespectful, cut down on the snark for snarks sake. Remember that just because you're on the internet doesn't give you license to be immpolite and rude.
Le Sigh. I'm for the shower, now.
Intimacy. Like hugging and kissing and the holding of hands. And all the other things that go with that, but on the surface of it all I need more hugs, and more of the kind that last for half an hour, the not just friends kind.
I'd also like to be able to speak candidly and express things the way I perceive and understand them in my mind without having to run them through the 'make this make sense to other people and pull out the bits that would make it seem crazy or frightening' filter. Just say what I think as I think it.
Sex, but not one night stand sex. Comfortable sex. Positive sex. Giggling and expirementing and just hanging out with someone whose company you really genuinely enjoy sex.
Someone I can really talk to. Someone I can banter with. Throw quips and nonsense and inside jokes back and forth with. I'd like all of that, some day. Perferably some day soon, but I'm willing to be patient and wait if I really have to.
Eitherway, current events! Went to the Luce' block party, saw Har Mar Superstar. He is the sexiest little round man I've ever seen in my life. Anyone who doesn't believe that you can be sexy by dint of confidence and a good attitude should check this guy out.
Ended up over at Judas's place talking and generally hanging out with the various denizens of SGTC and their friends and loved ones. A very enjoyable time, and kudos to the excellent hostess whose real name I shall endevour to youse in lieu of her internet handle.
And now I'm back home contemplating where I'm going to get henna for the next weiner roast... And wondering if I'll be in town for the next weiner roast. Damn. I'll be needing to check if there is a scheduling conflict there.
One of the things I love about henna is that the person you're working on is more or less a captive audience and applying henna is a great way to just sit down and get to know someone.
So the spynet linked me up to the various 'I'm disillusioned/angry with SG and want to talk about it' boards floating around the internet. I browsed through some of them and it really wasn't what I was expecting. It seems like a lot of it is just people being catty for the sake of it. I didn't see anything resembling an organized statement of grievances, just a lot of complaining about people being people.
SG has a lot of practices I don't approve of, make no mistake. To my thinking they've made an incomplete jump from a small niche company to a large corporate entity. The problem lies in that they haven't adopted uniform and transparent corporate policies to match their business model.
Basically, they're running a big business, for profit, but the policies they use to police their forums and members are still largely arbitrary. They are also run personally by folks at the highest levels of the managment which can make it difficult to be objective.
I wouldn't mind seeing a nice set of policies and rules that are clearly explained and fairly easy to understand regarding forum conduct, situations by which members would be banned, etc. etc. The FAQ is nice but it still leaves a lot in the dark. To me this creates a kind of big brother fear when people are zotted for reasons that aren't entirely clear or seem to stem entirely from personal politics. Members don't know where the line is and given the way the boards, members, and girls tend to fall into heirarchies of 'power', for lack of a better term, it often seems that a statement from one person will result in a zot or at least shunning from the community whereas the same statement from another person would be met with widespread approval.
It's all people, though. People are people, they do what people do. SG is still in a lot of ways a small company. The staff is tiny and deals with the site in a very personal way.
So eitherway, I still like SG. I like the people here, I love the community. The 'porn' thing is still cool, even if I hardly ever look at the sets anymore.
Side note on the 'porn' issue. I think porn is in the mind of the individual. If you look at it and see art then it is art. If you look at it and see porn, so be it, for you it is porn. I look at it and see a highly eroticized art form that expresses human beauty and sexuality. the word 'Porn' feels, to me, like something pre-packaged and processed. Porn is the Mcfood of pictures of people. It's supposed to be disposable and you're not supposed to think about it to hard, or you'll start to realize that they ingrediants are very wholesome. Playboy is 'porn' because the women in playboy are all identical airbrush automata. They could just CG the girls in and slap on a fake biography, no one would know the difference. SG isn't 'porn' because the girls in the pictures continue to exist once the camera looks away.
Back to the topic, I like SG. I think it does what it does better than anyone else in it's little industry. I don't always agree with what the powers that be do, and I don't like some of their practices, but so be it. I'd rather stick with it and try to positively influence a phenomena that I love than go off and complain about it to the void. I think the folks who complain about 'change' and the folks who snidely reply 'change happens' tend to forget that they are part of the change and can influence it's course simply by how they communicate with the other people in the community. Be nice. Be positive. Be respectful. Offer new people an example of good conduct, chastize the folks who are being disrespectful, cut down on the snark for snarks sake. Remember that just because you're on the internet doesn't give you license to be immpolite and rude.
Le Sigh. I'm for the shower, now.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
meta:
you know, I believe most Indian grocery stores in the cities have henna kits. if I think about it really hard, I can tell you where a bunch of them are. also possibly the Global Village on Hennepin.
lukebunny:
Frank, you are an angel. I like to read pretty much everything. I am a raging Sci-Fi Nerd. Love craft gets me all gooey, Haven't read Milton or Machevelli, but Would sure like to. I can't seem to find my address currently, but when I have it, I will let you know! Anything you would like to donate would be welcome, but don't feel the need to send everything. I don't want to deplete your book collection!