It's 2:00pm. I got to bed at midnight last night. I was not particularly tired. I did not, for any reason, need to spend 12-14 hours sleeping. But when I woke up this morning I felt no real desire to leave bed. I'm not entirely sure why, but it's going up at the top of my list of things to investigate.
Anxiety is a pain in the ass. You can fight it, but fighting it is hard work, and after a while it's so much effort to beat down the effects of it that it just isn't worth it. *sigh*
I think I'ma go hide under something.
I hate being depressed. Life is enough of a cluster fuck as is without any help from a chemical imbalance. Fucking fuck fuckity fucker fuck. ka fuck.
La la la. The best of all possible worlds is a total suck ass.
I don't want to do anything, but I'm edgy and restless anyway. La. La la la. La. Lala. La la la la la la. La. La di da. Di da. Di fucking da.
I feel bad. And I can't fix it. And I get sick in my head and my tummy when I try to do important stuff. And it sucks. I say 'Hey, Frank, this thing is important, you should go do it' and then I say 'Okay, Frank, I'll go do it' and then my tummy says 'Fuck you, man, I'm not doing shit. There could be fucking tyrannousaurs out there.' and my brain says 'Fucking A right, Tums, There could be Tyrannosaurs. And they could be being ridden by ninjas. We're staying right fucking here.' And if you try to do anything about it we'll make you feel so sick and panicky that you'd crash your car just trying to get out of the drive way.' And I'm all like 'But dudes, Tyrannosaurs and Ninjas have been extinct since 1983! I wasn't even born in 1983! I need to go get some shit done, or I'll spend the rest of my life sitting in my house being miserable and panicky and feeling shitty and starring at the wall and being lonely and shit!'. That's when my brain and my tummy kicked me in the balls, knocked me down, stole my wallet and rolled me for loose change. I used to think that I could trust those fuckers, but now I know I can't trust anyone...Except, like, all my friends and shit. I just can't trust my own body, because it keeps doing stupid counterproductive shit all the time and I don't know how to fix the stubborn fucker.
I'm lonely. And some other stuff, but mostly lonely. Except I'm feeling really fucking negative and it tends to bleed into my interactions with other people, so i tend to make people miserable or angry when I talk to them, so I don't want to talk to anyone because I don't want to make my friends feel bad or angry, so I'm just sitting here alone. Complaining. to the Interweb. Because the interweb loves me, and doesn't mind if I complain all the time.
Anxiety is a pain in the ass. You can fight it, but fighting it is hard work, and after a while it's so much effort to beat down the effects of it that it just isn't worth it. *sigh*
I think I'ma go hide under something.
I hate being depressed. Life is enough of a cluster fuck as is without any help from a chemical imbalance. Fucking fuck fuckity fucker fuck. ka fuck.
La la la. The best of all possible worlds is a total suck ass.
I don't want to do anything, but I'm edgy and restless anyway. La. La la la. La. Lala. La la la la la la. La. La di da. Di da. Di fucking da.
I feel bad. And I can't fix it. And I get sick in my head and my tummy when I try to do important stuff. And it sucks. I say 'Hey, Frank, this thing is important, you should go do it' and then I say 'Okay, Frank, I'll go do it' and then my tummy says 'Fuck you, man, I'm not doing shit. There could be fucking tyrannousaurs out there.' and my brain says 'Fucking A right, Tums, There could be Tyrannosaurs. And they could be being ridden by ninjas. We're staying right fucking here.' And if you try to do anything about it we'll make you feel so sick and panicky that you'd crash your car just trying to get out of the drive way.' And I'm all like 'But dudes, Tyrannosaurs and Ninjas have been extinct since 1983! I wasn't even born in 1983! I need to go get some shit done, or I'll spend the rest of my life sitting in my house being miserable and panicky and feeling shitty and starring at the wall and being lonely and shit!'. That's when my brain and my tummy kicked me in the balls, knocked me down, stole my wallet and rolled me for loose change. I used to think that I could trust those fuckers, but now I know I can't trust anyone...Except, like, all my friends and shit. I just can't trust my own body, because it keeps doing stupid counterproductive shit all the time and I don't know how to fix the stubborn fucker.
I'm lonely. And some other stuff, but mostly lonely. Except I'm feeling really fucking negative and it tends to bleed into my interactions with other people, so i tend to make people miserable or angry when I talk to them, so I don't want to talk to anyone because I don't want to make my friends feel bad or angry, so I'm just sitting here alone. Complaining. to the Interweb. Because the interweb loves me, and doesn't mind if I complain all the time.
get your ass over here, let's play uno.
um, but, uh, not like right NOW. later. sometime. soon.