thanks, everyone, for the supportive comments. i have been beating myself up HEAVILY. i will try to stop. this was just the first time in a year i have opened up my heart and it is painful to be shut down like this. oh god, and i have emailed some (many) ridiculous things and only dug myself in deeper. will someone make me sign a pact that i will email no longer?? i am queen of emotional drunk mail. whoever could invent some kind of filter on a mail program that would stop this-- you know, not allowing an email to be sent when there are too many spelling mistakes or something- obvious signs of drunkenness etc. that would be such a great idea!!! maybe that is how i will get rich.
who's in for the pact?? i need help!!
who's in for the pact?? i need help!!

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I think not!?!
speed-reading yonder profile I mistook the I lost my Virginity response as: to my fist love
.......... and wondering whether fist was a noun or an adjective
I'm terribly short on drunken scribblings from lovely girls - please sling some my way