the last week or so has been kinda weird for me. so yeah i know i suck and i havent been posting at all but i do read your journals. dont worry i havent forgotten you all yet. but yeah ive been in kinda a weird funk and theres alot of shit on my mind. so im kinda trying to focus on figuring out all of that stuff and getting my life together and such. it would be the responsible thing to do.
um the last 24 hours have been really weird. just lots of general weirdness all at once. everything seems a bit overwhelming sometimes. sometimes as in right now. friends have shown their true faces. i discovered that i dont really know what im looking for. and i really really feel a bit outta place. like i dont really belong anywhere. like all the things that surround me, like all the things i try to be, arent really me. like i dont know who i am. i know that this is really vague and probably doesnt make much sence. but im just kinda trying to sort everything out and i have the sudden need to express something. i just dont know what.
i fell alseep in the arms of a guy i know last night. and i felt safe. and when i woke up he was smiling at me and clutching me tightly. he said he could spend the rest of his life watching me sleep. but is he what i want? is he what i need? i fear that hes not but im even more afraid if he is. cause i get the feeling that all ill end up doing is breaking our hearts.
um the last 24 hours have been really weird. just lots of general weirdness all at once. everything seems a bit overwhelming sometimes. sometimes as in right now. friends have shown their true faces. i discovered that i dont really know what im looking for. and i really really feel a bit outta place. like i dont really belong anywhere. like all the things that surround me, like all the things i try to be, arent really me. like i dont know who i am. i know that this is really vague and probably doesnt make much sence. but im just kinda trying to sort everything out and i have the sudden need to express something. i just dont know what.
i fell alseep in the arms of a guy i know last night. and i felt safe. and when i woke up he was smiling at me and clutching me tightly. he said he could spend the rest of his life watching me sleep. but is he what i want? is he what i need? i fear that hes not but im even more afraid if he is. cause i get the feeling that all ill end up doing is breaking our hearts.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
sheetsweat:
sorry. sometimes i forget to do stuff.
arcade:
you just do what you can. you can't spend your time wondering what if, espically in situaions like that. and if it should be that way, then you'll know, and he'll know too. one day at a time. being afraid, being excited and scared all at the same time... it's good, and it works.