frank_cotton

and we're back with the allnight show, here on 6.6.6 on your XM dial, and this is your gracious host, frank cotton. the last few songs you heard were, WASTED, and FADE INTO YOU, both from SO TONIGHT THAT I MIGHT SEE, capped off with TAKE EVERYTHING off (ha ha ha ) of AMONG MY SWAN, all by MAZZY STAR, and if you haven't guessed by now, we really love HOPE SANDOVAL here at the station. when we decide to chill, we don't waste our time on 'britney' and her clones, HELL NO! we like women with something to say, and with voices that will actually wring the blood out of your heart! if i EVER see one of those teeny-bopper's CDs within a mile of this place, i will cave someone's head in. anyones. really, i hate that pseudo-disco hippity-hoppity crap. it's like someone draggin' a dumpster across a parking lot; it just grates on my nerve. the last one. and so, mornin', kids! we havin' a good time tonight? ya know, frank realizes that the show last night, and those special reports were a bit of a downer. true, what needed to be said was said, and the show's finally on the road, so to speak, but yeah, that was some depressing shit. so tonight we're going to liven things up a tad, and hopefully get back to some real heavy sounds. that slow stuff is alright for slow dancin' and making out, but too much of it will put you to sleep. hey, let's get goin'! the word of the day is INSANITY, and we'll be having plenty of that tonight! and here in the UNDERVERSE, we like our hi-tech toys, and that brings us to this morning's PRODUCT RECOMMENDATIONS. frank likes DELL computers - he's had two of their desktops, and is typing this out on one of their laptops. she's a killer machine. we also like SAITEK products, such as their ILLUMINATED KEYBOARDS (don't tell, but i'm getting one of those TRON boards as soon as the lawsuits are settled), and their JOYSTICK/THROTTLE CONTROLS. and that's a wrap. on to the show. the next songs you'll be hearing are BARELY LEGAL, LAST NIGHT, and HARD TO EXPLAIN by THE STROKES, from the album THIS IS IT. we'll be easing our way back into the metal, rather than taking the immediate, jarring route. but first, we have a message from that annoying EMERGENCY BROADCAST bullshit. sorry, but i don't make the rules, that's the FCC's purview. we'll skip the sirens and all that. so, stay tuned for a public service anouncement: hi, this is frank cotton speaking, uncle frank to those of you in the know. anyone ever see a little movie called HELLRAISER? nevermind. this message is for all the girls out there, so all you dudes can just go back to your game, or your current project, or jerking off, or whatever the hell it is you were doing, ok? fine. now, ladies, with those assholes out of the way, what say we take over the world? about time, don't you think? they've been fucking it up long enough, so let's have some REAL change, for a change. but, before we get started, how about a little music to set the mood? we'll start with WALK AWAY, by FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH (sounds cool, but is way too long), from the album WAR IS THE ANSWER (see how this all goes together...), followed by CANDY'S ROOM (where i'd like to be) by BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN (and the e street band) off DARKNESS ON THE EDGE OF TOWN, and EARTH vs ME by POWERMAN 5000 (this band features ROB ZOMBIE's brother, eh) from MEGA KUNG-FU RADIO. a quick aside here, what's with these stupid fucking names for albums, and bands, and shit? it takes forever to type! anyways, frank's got notes all over the place here, but he's just going to wing it tonight. there's a line from MAGNUM FORCE, and it goes something like, ALL OF OUR HEROES ARE DEAD. feels that way sometimes, don't it? it's true, in a way, but it's also false, 'cause i'm here. your new hero, frank cotton. there's three of us actually, there's me here, there's me at SUICIDEGIRLS.COM, and there's one more of me at OBSESSEDARTIST.COM. anyone here see MULTIPLICITY? don't have to raise your hands, i can see some of you nodding. there's just too much for one person to do by himself. so, here and/or there we are, for you. the girls. my girls. i'll tell you all a secret, a big one, in fact. the world wasn't created for you, it was created for me. why? because! god, i hate talking about this, it is so embarassing. so i can get laid! that's it, all nice and tidy, and now that it's out in the open, let me explain myself. god ain't cute. he's not gonna tell you what he looks like, 'cause he's not up for being mobbed. he's not too good with crowds. he used to be shy, but that's finally, finally, over with. so what happened to frank? well, when he was around thirteen years old, rumor had it that frank was gay (even tho he didn't even know what the fuck that meant at the time), and all the girls quit talking to him. this was back when being queer was a big deal, and in addition to the aforementioned problem, frank was kind of an oddball to start with. he didn't like sports, he liked art. pretty things, beautiful things, like all of you pretty girls out there. nothing wrong with liking girls, but if you don't like sports, too, you might as well have FAGGOT stamped on your forehead. and it was all downhill from there. girls, i hate to do it, but can we call a break, please? i need a smoke, something to drink, and i don't know but i might oughta need to go out back right quick and jerk off, because all this talk about girls, and those pictures from the website and all are distracting the shit out of me. sorry to be so forward about it, but i want you to know the truth, just exactly what is going on at all times, and i want you to be able to trust me. i won't ask you to have faith, or blindly follow orders, just please, please, trust me. and we'll be right back after a word from our sponsor...