frank_castle

the last journal entry was kind of boring
here is a joke in transcript enjoy

then get this right, i'm driving along, man, i'm driving as i'm driving, i'm driving safely, i'm obeying the rules of the road,and whatever sign comes at me i look at it and I go, 'OK you got it sign', right so i'm driving safely and all of a sudden a guy in another lane, completely oblivous to me, he starts coming into my lane, just COMING IN, and if i didn't see him coming in...accident, but because i saw him uhhhhhh, I see 'HHHEEEYYY', i see, i access the sitution, i see, i access the (french accent)sitution,and i eased on the brakes and i eased, as he is coming and i eased and i say what anyone here says automatically as this is happening you can't help it, it just comes out, Ready, ready 'Ummmmmmm Helllloooo' 'ummmm hi....hello', unless your black it's a little different, if your black it's a, ' check out this muthafucker, check....out....this...muthafucker' and if your chinese it's (makes a crash sound and brakes screeching)well that's, that's (lisping) nice

i got into a car accident right, i got into this car accident recently, NOT MY FAULT, this car accident was not MY FAULT, right but you know how it goes, get into a car accident, even if it is not your fault, the other person, they get out of their car, look at you like it is your fault, even if it is clearly, their fault , they get out like(hands up and that expression whaaaaa), 'Alright why did you stop at red light and let me hit you doing 80!!!!' 'WHY DID YOU STOP AT A RED LIGHT!!!!' then you get out right and you go and start looking at the damage, you start looking, keep looking at each other and back at the damage 'Will you please come and look at my damage with me sir' 'If we look together maybe some magic will happen!' 'THIS IS HORRIBLE!' 'FEEL THIS THIS, this even feels damaged!' ' DO you have tools can you fix this right now!' ' This is horribly, this feels so horribly damaged!' ' Even if i was blind i would know this is horribly damaged, by the way it feels!' then you got to exchange the information , right, that sucks cause nobody ever has a fuckin pen , you stand there ' do you have a pen, i don't have a pen, can you remember all my shit' ' DO you have a lipstick or something?' ' A crayon?' Right so when you finally, here is what happens , you finally get the information going right, and you print your stuff nice and clean, 'there you go there's my fax ' highlight, everything is nice , you give them the...' there you go' it's in a envolope (sighs deeply) 'yeah' nice and...but then you get there information and it looks like the had a fuckin siezure while they were writing it, your like 'dude you got a 28 digit phone number going on here buddy' ' And under name you drew a picture of a monkey fucking a coconut' 'what is that' ' is your name monkey fuckin a coconut sir' 'M.F.C. is that you?' 'M.F.C. , that's a monkey , that could be a melon , looks like a coconut '

then you take a second, and here is when it starts getting embrassing, right you take a second and while you are doing the exchange, you look around for a second and there is people everywhere , there like building bleaches on the sidewalk and shit , people coming out of bushes 'whhaaaa accident.....(makes noise as to set up a chair to sit down and watch)i am going to watch for awhile' ' WOW they are discussing right there' We love car accidents in this countries, we're obsessed with car accidents, you....I know you are like me, it's like 2 in the morning and right it's dead quiet you're in your house , watching tv , you're in bed , all of a sudden outside at the corner you hear (tires skidding on the road) ' Damnit!' 'SHIT that sounded like it was going to hit' you always want it to hit, (tires skidding on the road another close call) 'COME ON!!' "NOTHING!!!' 'AAARRRGGGHHH!!' and then when you finally hear the crash you are psyched it's like (tires skidding and the sound of to cars hitting each other) 'Where are my shoes!!!??' 'YES WHERE ARE MY SHOES!!??' ' HAVE YOU SEEN MY SHOES....FUCK IT i am going out without shoes' 'I am going out shoeless!!' right you come out of your house and all your neighbors are coming out, everyone is coming out, you are like waving at each other, you are psyched to see each other, ' Come on let's go, you want to go together?' 'Come on let's go you me and you, no no no, you wait for the next group, you wait for the next group' 'Come on we will go as a team,, no no no no you WAIT, you wait for the next group' and then you get out there and it's no big deal, but everyone is stands out there for like two extra hours , it's over no one's hurt or anything, but everyone has to stand out there, just stay out there, even if it's hot everyone acts like it's cold and shit ' Hey( rubs his arms as he says it)' 'what's up(blows air into his hold as he says this)' 'just had to see what's going on(the rubbing and blowing together) ' and it doesn't matter who you start talking to , i guarantee everyone is having the same exact conversation , no matter who you get into with all anybody is saying back and forth is 'Yeah , yeah, well no, i was in my kitchen and i heard it so i came out ' 'You were in your living room, i was in my kitchen cleaning a dish i heard it i came out' 'What, you were in your basment , he was in his living room i was in my kitchen cleaning a dish i was really cleaning and i heard it and so i came out ' WHAT, shoes? no no no FUCK shoes,(laughs) shoes (says it while laughing) (laughs some more) 'listen to this guy with shoes (laughs as saying this then mock laughs at the guy with shoes) ah YOU (sacastically) 'SHOES over here' and everyone always wants to be apart of the uhh police, you know i mean we always want to be involved, we want to talk to the cops whenever they come near you , you know 'Officer yeah, yeah. yeah, uhh sorry yeah i just want you to know if it helps in you investigation i was in my kitchen and i heard it so i came out, i will testify in court, i was cleaning a dish, i will bring the dish as exhibit A and this guy he was in his basement,(looks at the basement guy) tell him want you told me, tell him what you told me' 'THAT'S NOT WHAT HE TOLD ME, HE IS LYING,THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU TOLD ME(laughs)