a story i am trying to write it ucks this like half od the first page
'Hey there' the guard said to the young man walking by guard station. The young man was about 6'5 ,200lbs, violet eyes, black hair, he is wearing a black trenchcoat, black boots,black gloves, black pants, and a black vest. The young man turned with a expressionless look on his face and just anknowledge that the guard was there. 'Have you seen this man' asked the guard, he showed the young man a drawing of a wanted poster with a man face on it, the man look like he was about in his mid 30's, with a scar on his chin, the poster said he has blue eyes,black hair,and a gruff voice,the bounty was set at five thousand pieces of gold. The young man look at the guard with no change in his face, the young man's eyes looked deep into the guards eyes and slowly shook his head, and just walked away. The guard begin to have fear, how can one person have so much power and confidence in just a couple of movements 'May i ask your name young man' the guard said with a hint of fear in his voice. The young man turned slowly and said with no emotion ' My name is Dante.'
'Hey there' the guard said to the young man walking by guard station. The young man was about 6'5 ,200lbs, violet eyes, black hair, he is wearing a black trenchcoat, black boots,black gloves, black pants, and a black vest. The young man turned with a expressionless look on his face and just anknowledge that the guard was there. 'Have you seen this man' asked the guard, he showed the young man a drawing of a wanted poster with a man face on it, the man look like he was about in his mid 30's, with a scar on his chin, the poster said he has blue eyes,black hair,and a gruff voice,the bounty was set at five thousand pieces of gold. The young man look at the guard with no change in his face, the young man's eyes looked deep into the guards eyes and slowly shook his head, and just walked away. The guard begin to have fear, how can one person have so much power and confidence in just a couple of movements 'May i ask your name young man' the guard said with a hint of fear in his voice. The young man turned slowly and said with no emotion ' My name is Dante.'
sorry dude i was so stoned i didn't even remember posting to that
the sentences are a little long. you could break them down. and edit for english and spelling purposes. thats about it though. not bad
thanx for my nice comment