So, step one complete on my life plan of self empowerment and social rebellion! :') Tuesday of this week I shot my first ever SG set with @matthewharris and it was the best experience ever.
This being the first time in a looooooong time i've even been alone in a room with another person who wasn't my partner it's safe to say I was pretty fcking nervous about it. I spent the whole day before choosing my outfits, literally had about fifty items of clothing scattered all over my bed at one point! I think the problem with having 50% colourful, magical, unicorn vision and 50% bad ass bitch is that you never know which one you're gonna be feeling at the time so deciding on whether to wear my cute ass pokemon stuff or my leather was a super tough choice... and I actually ended up working both in coincidentally and I hope when everyone sees my set they're as happy about that as I am :')
I spent the night before playing xbox, I said about 5,000 times that I needed to be offline early, couldn't stay up, wouldn't stay up... I totally stayed up until 5am playing Ark, like the little no lifer that I am and my alarm was set for 7am.. to be honest I'm not sure if it was excitement, nerves or the game that kept me awake but there was no way I was sleeping till I literally dropped. So, fast forward a couple hours of me drooling in my sleep, the alarm goes off, I jump up quicker than I ever have before, run around my house finding all the last minute things that even though I spent the whole day before prepping, now seem to of grown legs, run around my house and hid themselves and hop in the car for a lovely three and a half hour drive.. yawn (the pains of living in the middle of nowhere!)
I'm pretty sure I started off the drive there as like a super confident pro and by the time I was round twenty minutes away I was literally dying inside, comparable to a weird job interview sorta feeling when you wanna impress but then also, i mean, who you tryna impress.. the photographer is there for you as much as you're there for them I suppose. I even had to do the whole "YOU GOT THIS WOMAN" thing to myself, but a few selfie poses in the mirror and then I was there.
I stepped out the car, took a couple breaths, and let my bright shiny self take over. I'm usually pretty good with new people and not letting the awkward vibe win, because I mean who likes sitting in silence and feeling super weird.. not me! The hotel was suuuuuper nice, kinda wanna go back just to use that kick ass bath to be honest :') I felt pretty confident walking up to the room, then when I walked in and there was like just the right amount of music background noise I could of like thrown a party about how happy I was it wasn't dead silent haha! I think then I felt super chill, @matthewharris was super, duper nice from the moment I messaged him being like "Hi im new, help" (in nicer words) and it was literally not awkward at all in person. He talked me through things, spoke about ideas on stuff, helped decide my final outfit, and then gave me direction and just made the whole process feel super relaxed and fun (thanks for all the support and advice you gave me and are still giving me haha!)
While shooting I'm pretty sure that as soon as I was down to underwear I felt like an absolute boss. It was almost easier to be that way because I mean when you're messing about in front of your mirror that's how you do it right ;) I was embracing the whole 50/50 thing i mentioned earlier in full by this point and actually getting naked didn't even feel like I was naked.. maybe because I spend so much time with no clothes on at home but yeah it was all-in-all a super fun, empowering, kinda liberating experience and I am so, so, so beyond excited to get my full set together!
Also, just a side note, the community have been the most supportive and welcoming group of people I've ever come across. The lack of judgement, positive comments and genuine want to help and support each other is amazing. Thank you so much for everything everyone who has reached out to me it honestly means a lot when this is something so unknown to me! <3
I apologise that I literally write essays as blogs, It just kinda happens, so thank you for reading this long ass post! I hope that this is the start of things to come, and everyones excited about seeing the whole set as I am, but for now I hope you like the above cheeky preview photo of my upcoming Pokemon bed set #GottaCatchThemAll as much as I do! <3
