so i have 2 assessments due 2mrw that i haven't even started; what did i do last night? i went out and got blind.
so this is a make do update.
here is the "finished for assessment purposes" version of the little excerpt i posted before.
hope u like.
Like the Angel.
From atop my hill I look down on them. Up here I see you all and everything could be alright. Here my love is enough.
Sitting in my room she looked at me from beneath her dark fringe. Her eyes were a different kind of soft; terrifying and inviting at the same time. Her attention fixed on the stack of magazines at the foot of the bed; she began to thumb through them.
Anything new? She asked.
Nah you know me. I replied without thinking.
She giggled a little. There was the highlight of my day right there. When she laughed her eyes looked brighter, her mouth spread open (temporarily free from her protective guard), and her cheeks rose and filled with colour.
I meant among this lot, she said as she lowered her gaze to the magazines again.
One day she will work out that I am not quite as addled as I made it seem at first. She would forgive me the charade.
Time passes without any thought to accomplish anything. The suns warmth swells and begins to wane again. Up here life is enough to justify the passing.
Life though is not all warmth and comfort, she argues passionately.
True But isnt it better when it is?
Of course it is. Without anything to compare it to though you wouldnt know, she continues. That is why you have to embrace whatever it throws at you.
School was not dull when she was there. I sat and watched her mostly. She would probably never talk to me again if she knew how much I was in awe of her. I loved to listen to her when she was in this frame of mind though. She took me places that challenged and enriched me. My education at her hands was something completely different to what is offered in the state approved syllabus.
Up here they all make sense. Up here you cant see the pain, only the people. The sun is starting to set; my position no longer affords me the perspective that it did before.
Holding my hand she placed it on her chest. Waves crashed in the background and we readjusted our position in the sand but I couldnt shift my focus from the steady rhythm of her beating heart.
This is all yours she said.
I was lost for words, not because I couldnt believe what she has said but because I believed her so fully.
We only ever went to the beach in winter. Hair spilt from the hood of her sweatshirt as she rested her head upon my shoulder. Her waist fit so snuggly in the crook of my arm and her smell bewitched me. I secretly hoped that time would stand still.
I notice that in the twilight strands of light and shadow interplait upon the landscape below. I wonder who lives in which. I yearn to reach out to those in the shadows but I resist.
The first time that I really touched her was when I knew. The skin below her shirt was softer than anything that I had ever felt before. Running my hands over her tummy I imagined that this was what touching a goddess must be like. Then my fingers felt the harsh angular ridging. She did not recoil. My fingers traced the tough tissue lines which crossed the flesh between her breasts and navel.
Looking in her eyes I noticed my mouth opening, what I was ever going to say though I never knew and I never did find out. She placed an index finger over my lips and sweetly hushed me.
Its ok, she said and then kissed me.
It was as if she was she was telling me not to feel bad for asking her to take my pain and darkness as well.
We never directly spoke about it.
I never noticed any fresh scars. I never had to knock a blade from her hand and hold her as she bled and wept. But when I kissed those marks something seemed to be freed in her. In that way we traded in pain and absolution as well as desire and fulfillment.
It is dark here now. The lights are on everywhere below me and all I can see is the harsh glow. I lose them in their illumination.
She never hid from the world and she most definitely never hid from me. I could have hated her, if she wasnt just so amazing.
Her true colours were always flown high and I loved that strength. I loved that she was willing to risk this making me hate her and I loved that this would have been ok by her if it were the case.
Her strength became mine and I grew in her light.
Coming down the hill I descend behind the tree line. Everyone disappears again now. Once more I am just one boy alone among the world.
When I had to leave there were no tears, we promised each other that there was no need. We knew that the day was coming and we both knew enough to know that life would continue afterwards.
Hope things arent too cold down there, she would tease over the phone.
Her voice at the other end of a telephone line was such a poor substitute for the real thing.
There were visits, at first quite a few of them. We covered the distance and told each other our stories. We held each other and acted like nothing had changed.
Who is this? she asked
Its the new Primordial album I replied in the dark.
I like it, she replied amongst a couple of yawns. She giggled, added I like you too kissed my chest and repositioned herself in my arms.
Everything seemed as it should be. In my sleepy haze I ran my hand soothingly up and down her soft body. Under the sheets she was so warm and it felt so good to be holding her again.
My fingers eventually came to the now familiar scars, as I stroked them she craned her neck and kissed me softly. Her breath on my face and neck soothed all my ills. As she fell back into me I drew her closer. I noticed something unfamiliar on the inside of her upper arms. My finger extended to investigate further. I felt those tough ridge lines once again. This time however her response was to gently but purposefully move my hand away.
I couldnt take away the pain that I had caused her myself.
I stand there alone in the night. It is cold now and I should have been home some time ago. There is no-one around besides me.
The visits stopped and the phone calls dried up. Things had become different and we were both being overtaken by the all engulfing force of the real world. Time and life pushed ahead.
Weeks became months. There was no weeping over the memories. There were lots of memories.
I did not recognize the phone number that came up on the display that night. I did not recognize the tears on the other end of the line either. I finally recognized the voice that asked me just to be there with her for a little.
At the bottom of the hill I weave my way through the rows of headstones. Alone I place a single flower among the fresh bouquet which sits upon the freshly returned soil. I never knew her but she gave me the most precious gift.
She never asked me to come to her mothers funeral and I dont know if I could have sat there holding her hand and wondering where her pain had been expressed this time. It was just like her, she never asked anything of me, just took what little I could offer.
Everything looks different to me here now that I have gone. I guess you really can never go home. You can never go back either.
From across the street I try to look in on her. Outside I want nothing more than to be able to make everything alright. I hope that my love is enough.
The lights go out; I turn up my collar and head into the night.
so this is a make do update.
here is the "finished for assessment purposes" version of the little excerpt i posted before.
hope u like.
Like the Angel.
From atop my hill I look down on them. Up here I see you all and everything could be alright. Here my love is enough.
Sitting in my room she looked at me from beneath her dark fringe. Her eyes were a different kind of soft; terrifying and inviting at the same time. Her attention fixed on the stack of magazines at the foot of the bed; she began to thumb through them.
Anything new? She asked.
Nah you know me. I replied without thinking.
She giggled a little. There was the highlight of my day right there. When she laughed her eyes looked brighter, her mouth spread open (temporarily free from her protective guard), and her cheeks rose and filled with colour.
I meant among this lot, she said as she lowered her gaze to the magazines again.
One day she will work out that I am not quite as addled as I made it seem at first. She would forgive me the charade.
Time passes without any thought to accomplish anything. The suns warmth swells and begins to wane again. Up here life is enough to justify the passing.
Life though is not all warmth and comfort, she argues passionately.
True But isnt it better when it is?
Of course it is. Without anything to compare it to though you wouldnt know, she continues. That is why you have to embrace whatever it throws at you.
School was not dull when she was there. I sat and watched her mostly. She would probably never talk to me again if she knew how much I was in awe of her. I loved to listen to her when she was in this frame of mind though. She took me places that challenged and enriched me. My education at her hands was something completely different to what is offered in the state approved syllabus.
Up here they all make sense. Up here you cant see the pain, only the people. The sun is starting to set; my position no longer affords me the perspective that it did before.
Holding my hand she placed it on her chest. Waves crashed in the background and we readjusted our position in the sand but I couldnt shift my focus from the steady rhythm of her beating heart.
This is all yours she said.
I was lost for words, not because I couldnt believe what she has said but because I believed her so fully.
We only ever went to the beach in winter. Hair spilt from the hood of her sweatshirt as she rested her head upon my shoulder. Her waist fit so snuggly in the crook of my arm and her smell bewitched me. I secretly hoped that time would stand still.
I notice that in the twilight strands of light and shadow interplait upon the landscape below. I wonder who lives in which. I yearn to reach out to those in the shadows but I resist.
The first time that I really touched her was when I knew. The skin below her shirt was softer than anything that I had ever felt before. Running my hands over her tummy I imagined that this was what touching a goddess must be like. Then my fingers felt the harsh angular ridging. She did not recoil. My fingers traced the tough tissue lines which crossed the flesh between her breasts and navel.
Looking in her eyes I noticed my mouth opening, what I was ever going to say though I never knew and I never did find out. She placed an index finger over my lips and sweetly hushed me.
Its ok, she said and then kissed me.
It was as if she was she was telling me not to feel bad for asking her to take my pain and darkness as well.
We never directly spoke about it.
I never noticed any fresh scars. I never had to knock a blade from her hand and hold her as she bled and wept. But when I kissed those marks something seemed to be freed in her. In that way we traded in pain and absolution as well as desire and fulfillment.
It is dark here now. The lights are on everywhere below me and all I can see is the harsh glow. I lose them in their illumination.
She never hid from the world and she most definitely never hid from me. I could have hated her, if she wasnt just so amazing.
Her true colours were always flown high and I loved that strength. I loved that she was willing to risk this making me hate her and I loved that this would have been ok by her if it were the case.
Her strength became mine and I grew in her light.
Coming down the hill I descend behind the tree line. Everyone disappears again now. Once more I am just one boy alone among the world.
When I had to leave there were no tears, we promised each other that there was no need. We knew that the day was coming and we both knew enough to know that life would continue afterwards.
Hope things arent too cold down there, she would tease over the phone.
Her voice at the other end of a telephone line was such a poor substitute for the real thing.
There were visits, at first quite a few of them. We covered the distance and told each other our stories. We held each other and acted like nothing had changed.
Who is this? she asked
Its the new Primordial album I replied in the dark.
I like it, she replied amongst a couple of yawns. She giggled, added I like you too kissed my chest and repositioned herself in my arms.
Everything seemed as it should be. In my sleepy haze I ran my hand soothingly up and down her soft body. Under the sheets she was so warm and it felt so good to be holding her again.
My fingers eventually came to the now familiar scars, as I stroked them she craned her neck and kissed me softly. Her breath on my face and neck soothed all my ills. As she fell back into me I drew her closer. I noticed something unfamiliar on the inside of her upper arms. My finger extended to investigate further. I felt those tough ridge lines once again. This time however her response was to gently but purposefully move my hand away.
I couldnt take away the pain that I had caused her myself.
I stand there alone in the night. It is cold now and I should have been home some time ago. There is no-one around besides me.
The visits stopped and the phone calls dried up. Things had become different and we were both being overtaken by the all engulfing force of the real world. Time and life pushed ahead.
Weeks became months. There was no weeping over the memories. There were lots of memories.
I did not recognize the phone number that came up on the display that night. I did not recognize the tears on the other end of the line either. I finally recognized the voice that asked me just to be there with her for a little.
At the bottom of the hill I weave my way through the rows of headstones. Alone I place a single flower among the fresh bouquet which sits upon the freshly returned soil. I never knew her but she gave me the most precious gift.
She never asked me to come to her mothers funeral and I dont know if I could have sat there holding her hand and wondering where her pain had been expressed this time. It was just like her, she never asked anything of me, just took what little I could offer.
Everything looks different to me here now that I have gone. I guess you really can never go home. You can never go back either.
From across the street I try to look in on her. Outside I want nothing more than to be able to make everything alright. I hope that my love is enough.
The lights go out; I turn up my collar and head into the night.
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so have you any exciting plans for this week? or just school?